In some countries, more and more parents have begun to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #parents #children #home #school #trend

In many countries, the number of

parents

that

homeschooling

Wrong verb form

homeschool

show examples

their children

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

increased.

While

this

will help the

parents

Verb problem

apply

show examples

monitor their offspring intensively,

hence

the kids will lose the opportunity to learn about social ability by befriending the same age group.

Thus

this

essay will discuss whether the benefits of

this

outweigh the drawbacks. Self-teaching by

parents

to their toddlers will make the monitoring process become easier.

Parents

can control which environments suit best to their offspring because their

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

will stick to them 24/7.

Furthermore

, the

parents

can filter which subject that important to learn and which learning method that effective during their homeschooling.

For instance

parents

often created some supporting tools

such

as drawing images, math games,

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

etc to help their toddlers understand the subject they learn.

As a result

, in

parents

’ view, homeschooling will be the safest option for their offspring’s education.

However

, the downsides of self-teaching at home must not be ignored. By only

surrounded

Add a missing verb

being surrounded

show examples

with

Change preposition

show examples

their

parents

, children will not find friends their age.

Accordingly

, communication ability within the same generation group will not effectively

learn

Wrong verb form

be learned

show examples

by the kids.

Nevertheless

this

is a fundamental subject because children will adopt the ability

of expressing

Replace the preposition

to express

show examples

their emotional feeling,

setting

Wrong verb form

set

show examples

their own boundaries, expanding their

view points

Correct your spelling

viewpoints

show examples

, and others. Avoiding these values will resulting adult individuals

that

Change the verb form

are

show examples

not ready to adapt

Change preposition

show examples

society. In conclusion, numerous

parents

start

Wrong verb form

have started

show examples

to teach their young generations at home rather than letting them

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

go to public schools. I consider the benefits do not outweigh the downsides.

While

the

parents

feel

this

Correct your spelling

show examples

the most secure way to monitor and filter the kids’ environments,

this

also

will hinder the social advancement of the youngsters.

Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task achievement

You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay. However, there are a few areas where you could improve your task response. For example, you could provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.

coherence cohesion

While the essay has a logical structure, some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow of the ideas. Try to use more linking phrases to enhance cohesion and guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion. This helps to provide a cohesive structure to your essay.

task achievement

You've addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, giving a balanced view of the topic. This contributes positively to your task response.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

285 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, more and more parents have begun to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society . others ,however,belive that school is the place tp learn this.

Some people believe that climate has the greatest affect on people's way of life. Others believe that the economy of a region has the greatest effect. This is both the views and give your opinion.

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree?