In some countries, more and more parents have begun to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries, the number of
parents
that
homeschooling
Wrong verb form
homeschool
show examples
their children
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
increased.
While
this
will help the
parents
to
Verb problem
apply
show examples
monitor their offspring intensively,
hence
the kids will lose the opportunity to learn about social ability by befriending the same age group.
Thus
,
this
essay will discuss whether the benefits of
this
outweigh the drawbacks. Self-teaching by
parents
to their toddlers will make the monitoring process become easier.
Parents
can control which environments suit best to their offspring because their
child
Fix the agreement mistake
children
show examples
will stick to them 24/7.
Furthermore
, the
parents
can filter which subject that important to learn and which learning method that effective during their homeschooling.
For instance
,
parents
often created some supporting tools
such
as drawing images, math games,
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
etc to help their toddlers understand the subject they learn.
As a result
, in
parents
’ view, homeschooling will be the safest option for their offspring’s education.
However
, the downsides of self-teaching at home must not be ignored. By only
surrounded
Add a missing verb
being surrounded
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
their
parents
, children will not find friends their age.
Accordingly
, communication ability within the same generation group will not effectively
learn
Wrong verb form
be learned
show examples
by the kids.
Nevertheless
,
this
is a fundamental subject because children will adopt the ability
of expressing
Replace the preposition
to express
show examples
their emotional feeling,
setting
Wrong verb form
set
show examples
their own boundaries, expanding their
view points
Correct your spelling
viewpoints
show examples
, and others. Avoiding these values will resulting adult individuals
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
not ready to adapt
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
society. In conclusion, numerous
parents
start
Wrong verb form
have started
show examples
to teach their young generations at home rather than letting them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
go to public schools. I consider the benefits do not outweigh the downsides.
While
the
parents
feel
this
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
the most secure way to monitor and filter the kids’ environments,
this
also
will hinder the social advancement of the youngsters.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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task achievement
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay. However, there are a few areas where you could improve your task response. For example, you could provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow of the ideas. Try to use more linking phrases to enhance cohesion and guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion. This helps to provide a cohesive structure to your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, giving a balanced view of the topic. This contributes positively to your task response.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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