In some countries, more and more parents have begun to teach their children at home rather than send them to school. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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In many countries, the number of
parents
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that
homeschooling
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homeschool
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their children
have
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has
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increased.
While
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this
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will help the
parents
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to
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apply
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monitor their offspring intensively,
hence
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the kids will lose the opportunity to learn about social ability by befriending the same age group.
Thus
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,
this
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essay will discuss whether the benefits of
this
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outweigh the drawbacks. Self-teaching by
parents
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to their toddlers will make the monitoring process become easier.
Parents
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can control which environments suit best to their offspring because their
child
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children
show examples
will stick to them 24/7.
Furthermore
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, the
parents
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can filter which subject that important to learn and which learning method that effective during their homeschooling.
For instance
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,
parents
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often created some supporting tools
such
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as drawing images, math games,
and
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apply
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etc to help their toddlers understand the subject they learn.
As a result
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, in
parents
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’ view, homeschooling will be the safest option for their offspring’s education.
However
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, the downsides of self-teaching at home must not be ignored. By only
surrounded
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being surrounded
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with
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by
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their
parents
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, children will not find friends their age.
Accordingly
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, communication ability within the same generation group will not effectively
learn
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be learned
show examples
by the kids.
Nevertheless
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,
this
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is a fundamental subject because children will adopt the ability
of expressing
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to express
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their emotional feeling,
setting
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set
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their own boundaries, expanding their
view points
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viewpoints
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, and others. Avoiding these values will resulting adult individuals
that
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is
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are
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not ready to adapt
in
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to
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society. In conclusion, numerous
parents
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start
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have started
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to teach their young generations at home rather than letting them
to
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apply
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go to public schools. I consider the benefits do not outweigh the downsides.
While
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the
parents
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feel
this
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as
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is
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the most secure way to monitor and filter the kids’ environments,
this
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also
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will hinder the social advancement of the youngsters.
Submitted by annisaseptidwiyanti on

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task achievement
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which enhances the overall coherence of your essay. However, there are a few areas where you could improve your task response. For example, you could provide more specific examples to support your points and ensure that your ideas are fully developed.
coherence cohesion
While the essay has a logical structure, some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow of the ideas. Try to use more linking phrases to enhance cohesion and guide the reader through your arguments smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame the discussion. This helps to provide a cohesive structure to your essay.
task achievement
You've addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, giving a balanced view of the topic. This contributes positively to your task response.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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