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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that several short holidays from school are better, while others think one long summer holiday for the year is better for children. Discuss both views and include your own opinion and relevant examples from your experience.

A segment of society believes that having several short school breaks throughout the year is more beneficial for
students
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,
while
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 others argue that one long
summer
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 vacation is a better option. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views, present my opinion, and provide relevant examples from my own experience. Some people believe that shorter, more frequent
holidays
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 are more effective and refreshing for children. Schools around the world vary in their academic calendars, especially regarding
holidays
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.
For example
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, in Ukraine,
students
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 have
holidays
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 each season,
while
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 in many European countries, children typically enjoy a single, long
summer
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 break.
As a result
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, the European system allows for more continuous learning throughout the school year, which some argue leads to deeper and more diverse knowledge. European
students
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 tend to study for longer uninterrupted periods, which can promote better academic performance.
On the other hand
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, frequent breaks,
such
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 as those in Ukraine, can keep
students
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 more engaged and prevent burnout. These short
holidays
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 offer children a chance to rest, spend time with family and friends, and return to school feeling refreshed and motivated. For some
students
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,
this
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 regular downtime increases their enthusiasm for learning and helps them stay mentally healthy. From my perspective, both systems have their merits, but I personally prefer having one long break during the
summer
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. I have experienced both types of holiday structures in my own life and feel more prepared and focused when I follow a system with fewer, longer breaks.
While
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 I might have fewer opportunities to socialize during the year, the longer study periods allow me to concentrate better, prepare thoroughly for exams, and develop discipline—skills that are valuable in adult life and future careers. In conclusion,
although
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 shorter
holidays
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 allow more leisure time with friends, they may not support the same level of academic focus as a single extended
summer
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 break. In my opinion, the second option—having one long holiday—is more effective for building knowledge, discipline, and long-term success.

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task achievement
Improve the clarity of arguments by giving more examples. Some ideas can be explained a bit deeper to help the reader understand.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. This helps show the main idea of each part of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Good structure with clear introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented both sides of the argument well. It shows you understand the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • burnout
  • rejuvenated
  • quality time
  • family experiences
  • uninterrupted break
  • hobbies
  • engage
  • disengage
  • structure of school
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