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Band 3

The top ten nations producing and consuming electricity in 2014 is illustrated in the given bar chart.

#ten #nations #electricity #bar
The top ten nations producing and consuming
electricity
 in 2014
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 illustrated in the given bar chart. In general, China emerged as a leader in making and using
electricity
,
while
 Korea Republic
least
Correct your spelling
lost
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 almost all, and most countries
has
Change the verb form
have
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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electrical energy production more than consumption. In 2014, China generated nearly 5,400B
kWh
, the highest among nations listed
while
 the US produced about 4,000B
kWh
. Both countries used less energy than creating with over 5,300B
kWh
 and nearly 3,900B
kWh
, respectively.
Furthermore
, the
remain
Change the form of the verb
remaining
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 countries exhibited significant disparities in
electricity
 production and consumption compared to China and the US. Notably, Russia was ranked third with the electrical energy generating just over 1,000B
kWh
, meanwhile using less
20
Change preposition
than 20
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B
kWh
 than creating.
Conversely
, Japan, Canada, France, Brazil, India and
Correct article usage
the Korea
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Korea
Correct your spelling
Korean
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 Republic all produced and used under 1,000B
kWh
, with the discrepancy between them
is
Wrong verb form
being
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 about 50 to 200B
kWh
.
Last
 but not least, Germany demonstrated the difference in the list, with the proportion of produced
electricity
 was less than used
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, about b527 and 583B
kWh
, in that order.
Submitted by weezel on

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introduction conclusion present
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Adding a bit more specific data and examples would improve the relevance and depth of your response.
task achievement
Your essay provides a good general overview of the topic and highlights key countries effectively.
supported main points
The main points are generally well-supported, which aids in clarity and comprehension.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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