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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

#opportunities #women #people #situation
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These days,
women
Use synonyms
 have significantly more opportunities compared to the past. Some people believe
this
Linking Words
 situation has caused more issues than solutions. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, workplace diversity can bring benefits to various sectors,
such
Linking Words
 as mining, industry, and government.
For example
Linking Words
,
women
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 can now work in regional areas far from urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and they can
also
Linking Words
 hold leadership positions or roles in the justice system. A notable example is the former Prime Minister of New Zealand, who has demonstrated great potential and leadership for her country.
In addition
Linking Words
, educational advancements have increased opportunities for
women
Use synonyms
. More scholarships and work-sponsored programs are available, leading to greater success in education and skill development.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 now have the potential to access every major field of study, breaking traditional gender barriers in education. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that
women
Use synonyms
 have more opportunities today than in the past. Workplace diversity benefits various fields, and educational advancements have led to greater success and skill development for
women
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by somiesunicha.k on

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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both the benefits and the issues caused by increased opportunities for women. Still, make sure to directly address the concern that some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical and clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, linking phrases could be used more consistently to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have clearly demonstrated how workplace diversity and educational advancements have provided more opportunities for women.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical organization, and you effectively concluded by summarizing the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • economic development
  • innovation
  • traditional family roles
  • shared responsibilities
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • decision-making
  • educational opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • traditionalists
  • societal friction
  • gender roles
What to do next:
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