Nowadays there are more opportunities for women than there were in the past. Some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved. What are your opinions on this?

These days,
women
have significantly more opportunities compared to the past. Some people believe
this
situation has caused more issues than solutions. In my opinion, I strongly agree with
this
statement, and the following examples will be provided to support my point of view.
To begin
with, workplace diversity can bring benefits to various sectors,
such
as mining, industry, and government.
For example
,
women
can now work in regional areas far from urban
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
, and they can
also
hold leadership positions or roles in the justice system. A notable example is the former Prime Minister of New Zealand, who has demonstrated great potential and leadership for her country.
In addition
, educational advancements have increased opportunities for
women
. More scholarships and work-sponsored programs are available, leading to greater success in education and skill development.
Furthermore
,
women
now have the potential to access every major field of study, breaking traditional gender barriers in education. In conclusion, it is undoubtedly true that
women
have more opportunities today than in the past. Workplace diversity benefits various fields, and educational advancements have led to greater success and skill development for
women
.
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task achievement
You have effectively addressed the task by discussing both the benefits and the issues caused by increased opportunities for women. Still, make sure to directly address the concern that some people think this situation has caused more problems than it has solved.
coherence and cohesion
You have a logical and clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, linking phrases could be used more consistently to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
You have clearly demonstrated how workplace diversity and educational advancements have provided more opportunities for women.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a logical organization, and you effectively concluded by summarizing the arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • social justice
  • economic development
  • innovation
  • traditional family roles
  • shared responsibilities
  • diverse perspectives
  • creativity
  • decision-making
  • educational opportunities
  • work-life balance
  • traditionalists
  • societal friction
  • gender roles
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