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Band 3

The pictures illustrate the way how plastic bottles are being recycled. It is plastic circle which never ends up.

#pictures #plastic #bottles #circle #ends
The pictures illustrate the way how
plastic
 bottles are being recycled. It is
plastic
Add an article
a plastic
the plastic
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 circle which never ends up. These 9 steps, which are shown on the diagram, from collecting bottles to producing daily routine products, provide convenient opportunities for humanity. Beginning with collecting
plastic
 for special purposes, it transfers to recycling centres. In those
places
Add a comma
places,
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 people divide them
in
Change the preposition
into
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 2 groups, those
ones which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 are appropriate for reuse, are being compressed with machines into blocks.
Them
Change the pronoun
They
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 are being crushed and washed
further
 to get fine particles.
Subsequently
, it is ready for forming a new raw.
The next step is
plastic
Correct article usage
a plastic
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pellets
Fix the agreement mistake
pellet
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producing
Verb problem
apply
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. Tiny pieces that we got,
being
Wrong verb form
were
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 placed into a shredding machine to get pellets, and
need
Wrong verb form
needed
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 to be heated by high
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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 to have raw materials. These raw
is
Verb problem
materials are
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 usually used to create new
plastic
staff
Correct your spelling
stuff
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 like bottles or
office
Fix the agreement mistake
offices
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,and
also
 can be used as a material for clothes.
To conclude
 all the information we determined above, bottle recycling is one of the most rational ways to reuse rubbish.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task response
In your introduction, try to be more specific about the process you are describing and avoid vague language like 'plastic circle which never ends up.' Clarify what you mean, perhaps by saying 'a continuous recycling process for plastic bottles.'
clear comprehensive ideas
Make sure your points are fully developed. For instance, you could elaborate more on the '9 steps' and specify each step more clearly to make your essay informative.
coherence cohesion
Improve your grammatical range and accuracy, especially with articles and the use of 'this' and 'these.' Some sentences are also awkward and need restructuring. For instance, 'Them are being crushed' should be 'They are crushed.'
logical structure
Your essay clearly describes the main stages of the recycling process in a logical order.
introduction conclusion present
You have provided a solid overall conclusion that underscores the importance of recycling plastic bottles.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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