Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

#believe #people #positions #government

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this

essay, I am going to discuss the idea that: Some believe that more youths hold an important position in government,

while

others believe that young people should not. In the beginning,

that is

the fact that more youths hold important positions in the government, and in my opinion, it is necessary.

However

, both views are remarkable. Positions should be filled with youths

however

on the other hand

workers

who have experiences are priceless for the states or other labourers. Young people can adapt the new circumstances easily.

Further

, their brains are fresh and they have a tendency to create new ideas.

However

, experienced

workers

are more eligible for some qualified degrees.

Furthermore

, They must keep working and their position be preserved so, less experienced worker could learn something from their experiences.

Firstly

, Youngs can adapt the new circumstances more easily than old. Youngs grow up with modernity

therefore

it is easy to adapt. It has a huge importance in work life.

Secondly

, their brains are fresh and they have a tendency to create new ideas. Creativity gets worse over the years

thus

, a fresh brain is valuable , especially in some labours that contain creativity. Holding a high degree in the government requires a creative brain.

On the contrary

, experienced

workers

are more eligible for some qualified positions. We mustn't deny their importance.

Additionally

, we have to hold

such

old

workers

in our surroundings and work atmosphere to improve ourselves.

Therefore

, for some information, it is better that learn from someone who has sufficient experience in it. In conclusion, the different aspects of the idea were given. In my opinion, holding high degrees in the labours by the news is better in the new world.

Submitted by ilyascanaltan on Wed Aug 14 2024

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task response

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines both views and your own opinion in a succinct manner. Avoid repetition in statements to maintain clarity.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the logical structure by enhancing the flow between paragraphs and ensuring each main point is clearly distinct and well-supported.

task response

Incorporate specific examples to support your points. Real-world examples will strengthen your arguments and demonstrate a deeper understanding.

coherence and cohesion

Work on varying sentence structures and utilize transition words to enhance the flow and coherence of your essay.

task response

Your essay acknowledges both perspectives, which shows a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence and cohesion

You’ve provided a clear conclusion that summarizes your viewpoint.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

287 words

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Some believe that more young people hold the important positions in government, while others believe that the young people should not. Discuss both views and provide your own opinion with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

Some celebrities say their love lives shouldn’t be under scrutiny in the media. However, other people feel that they should accept this as part of their fame. Discuss both perspectives and give your opinion?

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Millions of dollars are spent on space research every year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living sstandards on Earth. Do you argee or disagree?

Some people think that children should only read academic books. Others believe that reading books for pleasure is equally important. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.