IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You successfully passed a job interview. You are expected to start on November 15, but you will not be available on that date. Task: Write a letter to your new boss, explaining your situation, expressing your concern and suggesting a solution.

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Dear Mr. Smith, I am writing to you regarding my job's start day, which
has been
Wrong verb form
is
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 supposed to be
25th
Correct article usage
the 25th
show examples
 of July, 2024. I am unfortunately unable to start at the due date since I have been diagnosed to require passing an emergency operation on 1st of July.
This
Linking Words
 surgery was supposed to be done on
15th
Correct article usage
the 15th
show examples
 of June;
however
Linking Words
, it has been postponed because my doctor will be on a working trip at that time. Please accept my apology and change the date, when I should start my work.
Otherwise
Linking Words
, I
should
Verb problem
will
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 miss the precious opportunity of being a member of your esteemed organization, which will be an extremely heartbreaking experience for me. If
change
Add an article
a change
the change
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 of date were possible, I would be truly
honored
Change the spelling
honoured
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 to start my work just
few
Change the article
a few
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 days after my recovery, which will be
23rd
Correct article usage
the 23rd
show examples
 of July. I really appreciate your kind understanding and I look forward to getting your reply, Faithfully yours, Maria Sobhani

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task achievement
Make sure to clarify the original start date versus the revised start date you wish to propose to avoid confusion. It might be helpful to explicitly state the number of days or to summarize in a concluding sentence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all sentences are complete and grammatically correct. Phrases such as 'to require passing an emergency operation' could be rephrased to 'requiring an emergency operation' to sound more natural.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is very respectful and considerate, which is suitable for this kind of communication.
coherence cohesion
The letter has clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus, making it easy to follow the narrative.
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