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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The graph gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
The line chart provides information concerning the figure of
human
Add an article
a human
show examples
 being
participant
Add an article
a participant
show examples
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 different activities in Melbourne
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Film club, martial art ,
amateour
Correct your spelling
amateur
 dramatics , table tennis and musical performances. Generally speaking, we can see the sudden growth in table tennis activity to 55 per
year
Use synonyms
 in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2020.
Also
Linking Words
, it
clear
Add a missing verb
is clear
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 to say that amateur dramatics was very popular
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the start of
Use synonyms
year
Correct article usage
the year
show examples
 200 to 2005 .
However
Linking Words
,over the following years reached
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 low of 10
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
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.
Additionally
Linking Words
, the number of people who
contributer
Correct your spelling
contribute
contributed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
film
Correct article usage
the film
show examples
 club was a hint of stabilized during the period.
Next,
Linking Words
followed by martial art reached a rise in 2010 with
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of 40 as we can see that it reached the same limit
with
Change preposition
as
show examples
 amateur dramatics in
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2015.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, musical performances
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 unknown
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
Use synonyms
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2000 to the half of 2005 .

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 3 times.
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