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Writing Samples /
Band 5

With the rise of the internet more and more people are getting their news from social media platforms. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#rise #internet #people #news #media #platforms #trend
In the present day, technology plays a significant role in our lives. Especially, people use a rise of internet to know the
news
 of the world. In
this
 essay, I will explore some merits and demerits of using
news
 on websites. On the one hand,
news
 in social
media
 is important for the community that returns to several advantages. The primary benefit is keeping effort and time.
For example
, many researchers say; "many members tend to access
news
 by using a variety of applications like; what's Up, Instagram and Facebook".
Therefore
, these apps are easy and fast.
In addition
, the nations always research the quality of producers and trust the sites.
Hence
, taking
news
 from different
media
 and trying to compare between events,
thus
, breaking
news
.
On the other hand
, there are foremost disadvantages which depend on
news
 of social
media
. The first impact, events in social
media
 are not trusting . To demonstrate more, some individuals can use the lie language in their account only to get views. Unfortunately, from the comments, we know
this
 account is not good for
news
.
For instance
, my friend
appears
Verb problem
got
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
show examples
news
 and the public people
attack
Wrong verb form
attacked
show examples
 him. In conclusion, I strongly believe the pros outnumber the cons.
However
, people should be strict on some accounts and be sure about the
news
. At the same time, social
media
 is a chance to
get
Verb problem
gain
show examples
 knowledge and social skills.
Submitted by lailakhalil3 on

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task achievement
Your introduction sets a clear context, but it can be enriched with a more precise thesis statement outlining the specific advantages and disadvantages you will discuss. The essay should present a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by proofreading for grammatical errors, proper punctuation, and sentence structure. Some sentences can be rephrased for clarity, such as: 'The primary benefit is keeping effort and time' could be clearer as 'The primary benefit is saving effort and time'.
task achievement
Although you presented the major points well, further support with specific and relevant examples could strengthen your arguments. Additionally, providing a clear distinction or comparison between the advantages and disadvantages will help in delivering a more complete response to the question prompt.
task achievement
The conclusion provides a clear stance and suggests a balanced viewpoint which ties back to the main essay question.
coherence cohesion
Introduction and conclusion are present, which gives the essay a sense of completeness.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph clearly relates to either the advantages or disadvantages, helping the reader easily follow your arguments.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • accessible information
  • breaking news
  • real-time updates
  • informed society
  • global connectivity
  • diverse perspectives
  • critical thinking
  • comprehensive understanding
  • rapid dissemination
  • timely updates
  • emergencies
  • urgent situations
  • spread of misinformation
  • fake news
  • unverified information
  • professional journalism standards
  • biased reporting
  • poorly-researched news
  • echo chambers
  • confirmation bias
  • algorithms
  • narrow viewpoint
  • differing perspectives
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