Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Is this a positive or a negative step?

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These days, there is a growing trend among the population towards seeking non-conventional therapies and remedies as an alternative to consulting their regular healthcare provider. In my personal opinion, I strongly believe that
this
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step has numerous advantages for society.
To begin
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with, there are numerous patients with chronic conditions who have been fighting against the symptoms of their illness for years with no results.
Hence
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, it is fairly reasonable that people with ongoing health issues are trying alternative medicines that in many cases have shown a lot of benefits for their well-being.
Additionally
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noteworthy, studies have shown that many patients with chronic pain conditions,
such
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as arthritis or fibromyalgia, have reported improvements in pain relief and mobility after acupuncture sessions.
However
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, I'm of the opinion that if a treatment is not working for you, you should consider other options as long as they do not cause harm to people’s physical status.
Secondly
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, unconventional medicines often offer an enhanced personalized and holistic approach than their usual doctor.
This
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method frequently focuses on treating the whole person, not just the symptoms, allowing individuals to address underlying causes.
As a consequence
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of
this
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, healthcare recipients achieve better
overall
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well-being than people who don't try new possibilities.
Moreover
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,
this
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type of health approach commonly relies on natural remedies,
therefore
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, it has fewer side effects than common therapies.
For instance
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,turmeric, a natural herb with anti-inflammatory properties, is known to have fewer side effects compared to common pharmaceuticals like nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs), which can cause stomach ulcers and liver damage if used long-term. By choosing turmeric, patients experience pain relief without the harsh side effects associated with traditional medications.
To sum up
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, choosing non-conventional medicines has a lot of benefits for
Correct article usage
the health's
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health's
Change noun form
health
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community.
Such
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as helping to reduce their symptoms, having a holistic approach and decreasing the risk of regular medications. For all of these reasons, I believe that selecting these kinds of new options
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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the well-being of the population.

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task achievement
Your essay presents relevant arguments and examples. However, you could enhance your task response by providing a more balanced view in your introduction or conclusion, acknowledging that alternative treatments may not work for everyone and could potentially have risks.
coherence and cohesion
While your paragraphs are logically structured and your ideas flow well, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to improve coherence and cohesion. This would help guide the reader through your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
You have effectively articulated the advantages of alternative medicine, supported by relevant examples like acupuncture and turmeric, which enhances your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your use of specific examples demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and adds depth to your analysis, making your points more persuasive.
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