Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered.
Recently, some diseases
is
started Verb problem
have
from
Change preposition
in
children
and can give
negative Verb problem
have
effect
on growing moments until Fix the agreement mistake
effects
adolescent
, Replace the word
adolescence
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
obesity
that
can Correct pronoun usage
apply
be
Verb problem
cause
children
like suffering
. Change preposition
to suffer
This
essay will discuss about causes and solutions with two points consist
of unhealthy Wrong verb form
consisting
food
and education healthy life.
To begin
, one of the overweight
causes is unhealthy Correct word choice
apply
food
that many children
usually buy in
outside their Change preposition
apply
home
. Fix the agreement mistake
homes
That is
due to
the fact that,
Remove the comma
apply
parents
cannot maintain their children
every time and every where
. Correct your spelling
everywhere
For instance
, when children
learn at school or play with their friends, they can buy every things
they want Change to a singular noun
thing
it
and without Correct pronoun usage
apply
ask to
their Wrong verb form
asking
parents
. Many times, they eat enermous
types of Correct your spelling
enormous
food
these
have Correct pronoun usage
that
a high salt ingredients
. Correct the article-noun agreement
high salt ingredients
a high salt ingredient
Moreover
, children
like sweet drink
that Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
high sugar compotitions. Correct article usage
apply
As a result
, some modern children
is
already Change the verb form
are
obesity
since childhood until Replace the word
obese
their
grow to be teenagers.
Correct pronoun usage
they
Subsequently
, parents
and teachers should have a
good communication, Remove the article
apply
thus
they can maintain food
and drink activities their
Change preposition
for their
children
and students easily. The main reason is children
do not understand and select how the way to eat healthy and avoid unhealthy food
. Therefore
, every school has to make a
some educational Correct article usage
apply
such
as making a poster, showing
a short movie Correct word choice
and showing
these
related Correct pronoun usage
apply
on
education about good Change preposition
to
food
. Not only that, parents
can also
give some video
about how important it is to maintain a diet. Following that, Fix the agreement mistake
videos
hopefully
the Add a comma
hopefully,
amount
of Change the quantifier
number
children
who have an obesity
Replace the word
obese
ilness
can Correct your spelling
illness
significant
Change the word
significantly
decreasing
year by year.
Wrong verb form
decrease
To sum up
, obesity
is one of the dangerous health issues for children
because it can make a
overweight until they have been growing to be adults. The main Correct pronoun usage
them
causes
is unhealthy Fix the agreement mistake
cause
food
that the children
usually eat and the solution is maintaining and giving education for children
to health
Replace the word
healthy
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
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task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are difficult to understand because of grammatical issues. Try to use simpler sentence structures.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to support your points more effectively. This helps in making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can make your ideas connect more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will improve the overall readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have identified the problem clearly and provided causes and solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in structuring your essay well.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...