Modern children are suffering from the diseases that were once considered to only be meant for adults. Obesity is a major disease prevalent among children. What are its causes, and what solutions can be offered.

Recently, some diseases
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
started
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
children
and can
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
on growing moments until
adolescent
Replace the word
adolescence
show examples
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
example,
show examples
obesity
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can
be
Verb problem
cause
show examples
children
like suffering
Change preposition
to suffer
show examples
.
This
essay will discuss about causes and solutions with two points
consist
Wrong verb form
consisting
show examples
of unhealthy
food
and education healthy life.
To begin
, one of the
overweight
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
causes is unhealthy
food
that many
children
usually buy
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
outside their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
That is
due to
the fact that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
parents
cannot maintain their
children
every time and
every where
Correct your spelling
everywhere
show examples
.
For instance
, when
children
learn at school or play with their friends, they can buy every
things
Change to a singular noun
thing
show examples
they want
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
and without
ask to
Wrong verb form
asking
show examples
their
parents
. Many times, they eat
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
types of
food
these
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
have
a high salt ingredients
Correct the article-noun agreement
high salt ingredients
a high salt ingredient
show examples
.
Moreover
,
children
like sweet
drink
Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
show examples
that
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
high sugar compotitions.
As a result
, some modern
children
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
already
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
since childhood until
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
grow to be teenagers.
Subsequently
,
parents
and teachers should have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good communication,
thus
they can maintain
food
and drink activities
their
Change preposition
for their
show examples
children
and students easily. The main reason is
children
do not understand and select how the way to eat healthy and avoid unhealthy
food
.
Therefore
, every school has to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
some educational
such
as making a poster,
showing
Correct word choice
and showing
show examples
a short movie
these
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
related
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
education about good
food
. Not only that,
parents
can
also
give some
video
Fix the agreement mistake
videos
show examples
about how important it is to maintain a diet. Following that,
hopefully
Add a comma
hopefully,
show examples
the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
children
who have an
obesity
Replace the word
obese
show examples
ilness
Correct your spelling
illness
can
significant
Change the word
significantly
show examples
decreasing
Wrong verb form
decrease
show examples
year by year.
To sum up
,
obesity
is one of the dangerous health issues for
children
because it can make
a
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
overweight until they have been growing to be adults. The main
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
show examples
is unhealthy
food
that the
children
usually eat and the solution is maintaining and giving education for
children
to
health
Replace the word
healthy
show examples
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
Submitted by writingbersama on

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task achievement
Work on the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences are difficult to understand because of grammatical issues. Try to use simpler sentence structures.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and specific to support your points more effectively. This helps in making your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases can make your ideas connect more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revise your essay to correct grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. This will improve the overall readability and coherence.
task achievement
You have identified the problem clearly and provided causes and solutions, which shows a good understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps in structuring your essay well.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Obesity
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Prevalent
  • Genetic predisposition
  • Comfort eating
  • Screen time
  • Physical education
  • Nutritional education
  • Economic disparities
  • Food deserts
  • Subsidize
  • Advertising
  • Weight management
  • Junk food
  • Healthy food options
  • Physical activity
  • Body image
  • Counseling
  • Consumer education
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