Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to become successful career. While others believe that it is better to get a job staight after school. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
The numerous
Correct article usage
Numerous
people
argue that continuing to study
at high-level education
or at the university
are
the best way to be successful in their work. Meanwhile, others Change the verb form
is
firm believer
that it is outstanding to require a job after Replace the word
firmly believe
finish
Change the verb form
finishing
the
Correct article usage
apply
school
. In my opinion, I believe that having university
Correct article usage
a university
education
is pivotal for increasing knowledge
while
working after school
can get many experiences and it gets much money
.
On one
hand, many think Correct article usage
the one
are
easier to get a job if they Correct subject-verb agreement
is
had
finished Wrong verb form
have
study
at Wrong verb form
studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
. Because they have good knowledge
especially, such
as pharmaceutical science, the company requires them to do the project of registration
new Replace the word
registering
product
. Fix the agreement mistake
products
However
, pharmacist
Fix the agreement mistake
pharmacists
is more
better Verb problem
are
to do
the jobs than alumni Change preposition
at doing
Change preposition
of high-school
high-
Correct your spelling
high school
school
because they do not skill
to do that. As Correct subject-verb agreement
skills
result
, The company is more Correct article usage
a result
prefer
to accept bachelor pharmacy than Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
people
alumni senior high-
Correct your spelling
high school
school
.
On the other hand
, Some people
think that working after school
can be more experience than people
continue to learn at the high-level education
. Although
they do not knowledge
, many small mediumAdd a missing verb
have knowledge
enterprise
require them to work Change to a plural noun
enterprises
unskills
, Correct your spelling
unskill
for example
, cleaning service
and Fix the agreement mistake
services
waiter
are needed Fix the agreement mistake
waiters
for
handle the job, so they can Change preposition
to
safe
Replace the word
save
money
and they will learn about management time and money
. after
that if they have much Capitalize word
After
money
where they can make a new business to support the economy. Consequently
, they more be success
than Wrong verb form
successful
people
continue
to Correct pronoun usage
who continue
study
.
I firm believer
, Replace the word
firmly believe
people
continue to Correct word choice
that people
study
more successful
than Change the word
successfully
people
just
finished studying at Correct pronoun usage
who just
hight
Correct your spelling
high
school
. However
, they need the company to handle the big project where it have
Change the verb form
has
big
income. After Add an article
a big
that
they Correct pronoun usage
apply
finished
the project; they will get much income and it can make Wrong verb form
finish
business
Add an article
a business
the business
to be
successful in their career.
To sum sump, Verb problem
apply
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
people
have opinion
Correct article usage
the opinion
if
Correct word choice
apply
they
Correct pronoun usage
that
study
at Wrong verb form
studying
the
Correct article usage
apply
university
is more be better on
Change preposition
for
the
career than Change the word
their
people
Correct pronoun usage
who is
is
not continuing Correct subject-verb agreement
are
at
Change preposition
apply
the
high-level Correct article usage
a
education
. Because they can get knowledge
. People
after finished
Wrong verb form
finishing
school
they
have more experience than Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
continue
to Correct pronoun usage
who continue
study
because of long
time Correct article usage
the long
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
finished
Wrong verb form
finish
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
study
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coherence cohesion
The essay needs more clarity and clear distinctions between the two perspectives being discussed. Ensure that each viewpoint is presented with logical reasoning and examples.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction should clearly state the main points that will be discussed. While the conclusion should briefly summarize the key points and restate your stance in a concise manner.
relevant specific examples
Provide more real-life examples or case studies to support your arguments. Avoid vague or generic statements. Specific examples make your essay more persuasive and impactful.
coherence cohesion
There are frequent grammatical errors and awkward phrasings which interrupt the flow of the essay. Proofreading or using grammar-check tools can help improve sentence structure and coherence.
task achievement
The essay attempts to discuss both views and gives a personal opinion as required by the task.
introduction conclusion present
There is an effort to provide a structured response with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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