IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently organised an all-day meeting for your company, which took place in local hotel. In their feeback, participants at the meeting said that they liked the hotel, but they were unhappy about the food that was served for lunch. Write a letter to the manager of the hotel. In your letter, 1. say what the participants liked about the hotel 2. explain why they were unhappy about the food 3. suggest what the manager should do to improve the food in future.

#company #place #hotel #feeback #participants #food #lunch #manager #future
Dear sir, My company hosted a three-day retreat in your hotel
last
 week.
While
 it was indeed a success, there were a few complaints as regards the meals served. In all sincerity, most of the attendees commended your warm staff reception and the lovely aesthetics of the wall designs,
hence
, making it a lovely place to take group photographs.
Also
, the ambience and services were awesome, especially the laundry and sanitation department.
However
, the buffet was terrible.
Firstly
, there were only a few meal varieties available, and even the few ones were spicy and badly tasted. Some of the local dishes were not completely cooked,
hence
 leaving many of the participants with a poor eating experience. As a solution and because we love the unique design of your hotel, I would advise that you re-train your chefs properly and consider re-evaluating your recipes to avoid
such
 a terrible experience in future. I look forward to your response. Yours faithfully, Moses.
Submitted by callmosomitoyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the letter addresses all necessary points, consider providing a bit more detail on the improvements you wish to see regarding the food menu. Perhaps specify some variety or particular cuisines that would have been appreciated by the participants.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that paragraphs are clearly divided for each point to further enhance readability. A separate paragraph for the positive feedback about the hotel's general features and a distinct one for the negative feedback regarding the food would create clearer separation.
task achievement
The letter is well-structured with clear and polite language. The tone is appropriate for a formal letter to a hotel manager.
coherence cohesion
The letter logically progresses from positive feedback to the complaint and then to the suggestion, ensuring a coherent flow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: