Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#children #hours #smartphones #case #development

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Cutting-edge mobile technology has become an integral part of human beings' lives from renowned icons and entrepreneurs to ordinary people of all ages. Meanwhile, teenagers are the main group dedicating a lengthy amount of

time

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to their digital phones daily. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on why

this

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performance became the norm and whether

this

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constitutes an upside or a drawback. On the one hand, juveniles spend many hours on a variety of mobile applications every day and

this

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phenomenon can be rooted in the facilities that the state-of-the-art technology offers.

For example

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, smartphones provide access to user-friendly educational, entertainment and communication programmes which make life extremely convenient.

Furthermore

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, adolescents even tend to purchase their shopping baskets online which leads to spending even more

time

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on their digital phones.

Hence

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, modern cell phones combine and coordinate all our daily tasks and naturally, all the

time

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that was previously spent physically is being consumed virtually via the top-notch gadget.

On the other hand

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this

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can comprise a pitfall or benefit depending on how efficiently teenagers handle their

time

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. If they prioritise tasks with educational, informative or urgent characteristics,

for instance

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then

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it unequivocally is beneficial. Meanwhile, if they waste their precious

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playing

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-consuming and fruitless games or scrolling through Instagram

then

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it vehemently constitutes a destructive trajectory.

Therefore

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, the hours themselves do not determine the positivity or negativity of

this

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routine but the quality of the user's

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will. In conclusion, there are a plethora of reasons why juveniles dedicate much of their treasured

time

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to their smartphones as the state-of-the-art device offers an ocean of cheerful and convenient applications. Whether

this

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trend comprises a positive or negative development totally depends on how adolescents manage it. If their decisions are determined by wisdom

then

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they can be supported

while

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neglect-driven tasks and wasteful social media scrolling are considered items which can produce tremendous negative ramifications.

Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on Thu Aug 15 2024

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear response to the task and covers both parts of the question. However, incorporating more specific and varied examples can strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific educational apps or social media platforms would add depth to your points.

coherence cohesion

While your essay is well-structured and logically organized, consider using more cohesive devices and transitional phrases to further enhance the flow of ideas. This will help your essay read even more smoothly and improve coherence.

introduction conclusion

Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and effectively frame your essay. They clearly present your main ideas and summarize your points efficiently.

logical structure

The logical structure of your essay is strong, with each paragraph building on the previous one in a coherent manner. The progression of ideas is smooth and logical.

supported main points

You effectively supported your main points with relevant arguments and examples, making your essay persuasive and engaging.

9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

316 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

smartphones
usage
technology
accessibility
convenience
entertainment
gaming
social media
communication
educational resources
addiction
dependence
negative effects
physical health
mental health

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Task 2 ; --- Childhood obesity is an increasing problem in Australia as many as two thirds of children are now obese. Schools have a responsibility to monitor what their students eat and the amount of exercise they do. To what extend do you agree to this statement?

These days, mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?