Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Cutting-edge mobile technology has become an integral part of human beings' lives from renowned icons and entrepreneurs to ordinary people of all ages. Meanwhile, teenagers are the main group dedicating a lengthy amount of
time
to their digital phones daily. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on why
this
performance became the norm and whether
this
constitutes an upside or a drawback. On the one hand, juveniles spend many hours on a variety of mobile applications every day and
this
phenomenon can be rooted in the facilities that the state-of-the-art technology offers.
For example
, smartphones provide access to user-friendly educational, entertainment and communication programmes which make life extremely convenient.
Furthermore
, adolescents even tend to purchase their shopping baskets online which leads to spending even more
time
on their digital phones.
Hence
, modern cell phones combine and coordinate all our daily tasks and naturally, all the
time
that was previously spent physically is being consumed virtually via the top-notch gadget.
On the other hand
,
this
can comprise a pitfall or benefit depending on how efficiently teenagers handle their
time
. If they prioritise tasks with educational, informative or urgent characteristics,
for instance
,
then
it unequivocally is beneficial. Meanwhile, if they waste their precious
time
playing
time
-consuming and fruitless games or scrolling through Instagram
then
it vehemently constitutes a destructive trajectory.
Therefore
, the hours themselves do not determine the positivity or negativity of
this
routine but the quality of the user's
time
will. In conclusion, there are a plethora of reasons why juveniles dedicate much of their treasured
time
to their smartphones as the state-of-the-art device offers an ocean of cheerful and convenient applications. Whether
this
trend comprises a positive or negative development totally depends on how adolescents manage it. If their decisions are determined by wisdom
then
they can be supported
while
neglect-driven tasks and wasteful social media scrolling are considered items which can produce tremendous negative ramifications.
Submitted by sajjad.talebi2020 on

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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear response to the task and covers both parts of the question. However, incorporating more specific and varied examples can strengthen your argument. For instance, mentioning specific educational apps or social media platforms would add depth to your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured and logically organized, consider using more cohesive devices and transitional phrases to further enhance the flow of ideas. This will help your essay read even more smoothly and improve coherence.
introduction conclusion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-crafted and effectively frame your essay. They clearly present your main ideas and summarize your points efficiently.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with each paragraph building on the previous one in a coherent manner. The progression of ideas is smooth and logical.
supported main points
You effectively supported your main points with relevant arguments and examples, making your essay persuasive and engaging.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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