Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

There
have
Verb problem
are
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competing opinions on whether the teaching of a
child
how to behave in society is a duty of
parents
or
school
.
ALTHOUGH
,
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apply
show examples
school
gives information on social structure and acceptance, it evidences to be not enough for a
child
to behave well.I agree that it is the
parents
who impact on kid’s DEMEANOUR and should become AN epitome of A WELL-behaved and respected person in THE public eye to ensure their
child
will become the same. On one hand,
school
Correct article usage
a school
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is an educational INSTITUTE that has to educate
school
-aged children ABOUT social structure.There are various subjects which are studied from early grades
sheDDing
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shedding
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light on RUDIMENT social behaviour and values. In a subject of self-AWARENESS , THE student explores what communication is , or THE importance of kindness , AND how you should treat
ACQAINTENCESand
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ACQAINTENCES and
your family.
This
inveterates understanding of proper
demeanOUr
Correct your spelling
demeanour
show examples
and treatment towards others.But
this
side completely fails to apply the knowledge in real life , since you may still see many kids at
school
buLLying
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bullying
show examples
and cussing others. On another hand, well manners stem from the upbringing of a
child
and
parents
figure in it .It is commonly accepted that
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the demeanOUr
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demeanOUr
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demeanour
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of a
child
displays the family. Owing to the fact that kids mirror
Add an article
the behavior
show examples
behavior
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behaviour
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of
parents
and
subsequEntly
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subsequently
show examples
hold a greater influence on
childREN
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children
show examples
.
For example
, an impudent and gruff pupil often comes from A troubled family , where
parents
are in A toxic and dependent relationship,
moreover
tend to be abusive to a
child
. And vice-versa, A kind and open kid grows up with benevolent and tolerant
parents
.I agree with
this
point because it is totally THE responsibility of a parent to raise their kid into a
mannared
Correct your spelling
mannered
individual. In summary, THE
school
provides A crucial understanding of how you should behave in public .
However
,
candid
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the candid
show examples
demeaner
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demeanour
of
person
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a person
show examples
mainly depends on how THE kid was raised and how well-behaved THEIR
parents
were.
Submitted by zhaniya.azhdarova on

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grammar
Work on reducing grammatical errors and improving sentence structures to make your essay clearer and more fluent. For example, 'ALTHOUGH, school gives information on social structure and acceptance' should be 'Although school provides information on social structure and acceptance'.
coherence
Improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each main point is clearly connected to your argument. For example, use linking words such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In contrast' for better flow.
structure
Refine the introduction and conclusion to ensure that they summarize the main points effectively. The introduction should clearly state both perspectives, and the conclusion should succinctly restate your opinion and summarize the key points discussed.
task response
You provided a balanced argument by discussing both sides of the issue and then presenting your own opinion.
task response
The essay demonstrates comprehension of the topic and provides relevant examples, which show an understanding of the relationship between parental influence and school education.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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