IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, believe that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Some people argue that it is beneficial to educate boys and girls separately,
while
Linking Words
 others think that co-education is a better option.
Although
Linking Words
 different genders studying in a different infrastructure may find themselves away from
distractions
Use synonyms
, I believe that
confidence
Use synonyms
 is a significant factor which
students
Use synonyms
 gain
while
Linking Words
 educating together. On the one hand, boys and girls studying in separate schools are more focused on their studies as they are in
such
Linking Words
 an environment
that is
Linking Words
 away from
distractions
Use synonyms
.
That is
Linking Words
 to say that most children do not get attracted to the same
gender
Use synonyms
 and form relationships in educational institutes during their academic sessions.
For example
Linking Words
, it is generally recorded that
gender
Use synonyms
-biased schools have a greater success rate in terms of academic results
due to
Linking Words
 the fewer
distractions
Use synonyms
 from studies in comparison to the co-educational institutes.
However
Linking Words
, I think that
students
Use synonyms
 should be educated together under the same roof.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
students
Use synonyms
 inherit
confidence
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 studying with one another which is an essential quality to prosper.
This
Linking Words
 is because they are brought up
together with
Linking Words
 no
gender
Use synonyms
 bias which allows them to be confident in front of a different
gender
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, generally,
students
Use synonyms
 who pass out from co-educational schools have greater interactive abilities with another
gender
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 their
confidence
Use synonyms
, which is significantly beneficial.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I think that co-education should be given preference. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a complete focus on studies, away from
distractions
Use synonyms
 might be advantageous for children
due to
Linking Words
 their better academic results;
however
Linking Words
, I still opine that
students
Use synonyms
 need to foster
confidence
Use synonyms
 among themselves as being part of a mixed society.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Strengthen your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will help to make your arguments more convincing and clear.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your main points are fully supported with evidence. While your points are clear, expanding on them with examples or further explanation will enhance understanding.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both viewpoints, which aligns well with the task requirements.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion, aiding in a solid structure and logical flow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: