Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is too important for young people and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #fashion #impact #society

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It is believed by some people that youngsters are highly inclined towards

fashion

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in the current era and it has many adverse impacts on both community and individuals. I completely agree with

this

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statement,

such

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as the waste of money and the negative impacts on traditional values are some of the prominent reasons.

To begin

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with, first and foremost why a section of society asserts that the importance of

fashion

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is tremendously increased among young ones because they spend a lot of money to purchase new and trendy

clothes

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For example

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, a survey conducted by The Guardian Newspaper in March 2015 stated that 6 out of 10 people aged between 16 and 25 spent 55 per cent of their money on dresses and shoes in order to look smart and fashionable.

Hence

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, though they claimed it made them popular among others and confident, it is not suitable for their future financial stability.

In addition

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, gathering information and selecting branded gadgets and

clothes

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occupy a huge time, which they can use to increase their self-worth by participating in study or volunteering. Despite individuals,

this

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trend is a hazard for society too. Primarily, modern

fashion

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can replace the cultural values of nations. If youngsters like to follow international

fashion

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preferences, the demand for regional

clothes

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and products can observe a downward slope.

For instance

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, Amazon, an e-marketing website, mentioned in its annual report for 2022-23 that youngsters were keenly interested in purchasing modern

clothes

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more than traditional ones and it decreased the sale of cultural items by 40%.

Hence

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, it is certainly not suitable for a distinctive identity of a culture. What is more, where a new generation is always on their feet to post their trendy

clothes

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to others on social media, their bonds with both family and society are on a perilous turn and they have little time to mend

this

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error.

To conclude

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, though

fashion

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gives young ones a confident and smart look, it contains a huge amount of monetary and cultural loss, and I advocate

this

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statement completely.

Submitted by Mrjit147 on Thu Aug 15 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to enhance the clarity of ideas by using simpler sentence structures and avoiding overly complex phrases. This will make the essay easier to read and understand.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Use more transitional phrases to link ideas effectively.

task achievement

Consider addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen the task response further. This can demonstrate a balanced understanding of the topic.

task achievement

The essay provides relevant and specific examples, which significantly strengthen the argument.

coherence cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both clear and well-structured, providing a good framework for the essay.

task achievement

The ideas presented are comprehensive and well-developed, showing a clear understanding of the topic.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

340 words

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Nowadays, some people believe that fashion is too important for young people and it has a negative impact on people and society. Do you agree or disagree?

Robots and artificial intelligent are being developed to replace human in the workplace. Why is this happening? Do you think this will have a positive or negative effect in social

Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss both advantages and disadvantages of advertising. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Children should make their own choices or not. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that governments should make the ​investment in building public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because we have access to information via the Internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people believe that governments should make the investment in building public libraries in every town, while others think it is a waste of money because we have access to information via the Internet. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.