IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

It is important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #money #future
In
this
 jet-set age, it is vital to have
a
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strong financial backing, having the reserves to aid in the precarious times of
life
 can safeguard our family and future from
the
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unpredictable events. My school of thought are in pure tunning with the idea outlining the significance of saving
money
. To set the ball rolling, as adults,
life
 puts immense pressure on
one
 in several ways, cash flow is
one
 of those, having a certain
money
 reserve provides
one
 with a boost and confidence in
the
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life
,
whereas
 not having anything to feed yourself in hard times of
life
 becomes depressing. More so, it takes lots of effort and sacrifices to preserve some amount of
money
, it doesn't happen in a few days,
one
 has to initialize savings from an early working age.
For example
, it took me about 5 years in Canada to save 5000$, so it's not an easy task, but now I know can help my loved ones and myself in harsh times. Moving ahead,
on the contrary
, a small proportion of people think that taking risks by investing in businesses and the shares of big corporations, if done in the right manner can change
one
's
life
 for the big time.
For example
, there are lots of online creators and public persona, who bet everything they had and became multi-millionaires in
small
Add an article
a small
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 amount of time.
However
, it sounds exciting but putting
life
's earnings online sounds like quite a risk. That's why, there's not even a shadow of doubt in my mind that saving hard-earned
money
 rather than spending on a lavish lifestyle is a more sensible act. In essence, as discussed above, youngsters have more time on hand
as well as
 energy and resources to put to use for saving every penny they can for their upcoming lives. At
last
, everyone should be planning their financials at every stage no matter what their age is.
Submitted by singhrajpreet147 on

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task response
Ensure that your introductory paragraph clearly states your position. Although your intent is understood, the introduction could be slightly more elaborately written for clarity.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures to avoid monotony and enhance readability. Transition smoothly between ideas for better coherence.
task response
The essay effectively emphasizes the importance of saving money for the future, with multiple points supporting the main argument.
coherence cohesion
An appropriate introduction is presented and a conclusion is effectively drawn, adding to the overall structure.
task response
Relevant examples and personal experiences (e.g., saving 5000$ in five years) effectively illustrate and support the main ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • safety net
  • unforeseen circumstances
  • emergencies
  • future investments
  • retirement planning
  • financial discipline
  • habit of saving
  • amassing wealth
  • substantial fund
  • opportunity cost
  • additional income
  • inflation
  • purchasing power
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