Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However, television cannot replace the book as a learning tool. To what extent do you agree with this?
One of the most conspicuous trends of today's world is young people spending
great
deal of time in front of Change the article
a great
television
, though it has nothing to do with their studies. I completely agree with Add an article
the television
a television
this
statement because broadcasting channels are not always informative, and someone needs to be present guiding youngters
at all Correct your spelling
youngsters
time
.
If we look at the different programs that are mostly on Fix the agreement mistake
times
television
, then
they are senseless, except few. It is very evident that kids will be more interested on
Change the preposition
in
those
stupid Correct determiner usage
apply
contents
, rather than Fix the agreement mistake
content
the
informative sources. Correct article usage
apply
For example
, kids can spend hours by
watching cartoons and movies, but when asked to watch some informative documentaries on Animal Change preposition
apply
planet
and Discoveries, they would prefer Capitalize word
Planet
walking
out of the room, just after Change the verb form
to walk
few
minutes.
Correct article usage
a few
Children
can be guided when it comes to buy
a book for their studies as they need some financial support from their parents, Change the verb form
buying
however
, watching television
is more easily accessible at their home, because it is jiust
Correct your spelling
just
their
to be used. Young people can go, grab the remote for their Correct your spelling
there
television
, and start tunning
to whichever channel they want to watch. Correct your spelling
tuning
For example
, if the parents are not available at home because of their work schedules, children
can come home, throw their bags, and spent
hours in front of the Wrong verb form
spend
television
.
In conclusion, television
can not take place
of a book because books with necessary information can be picked for Correct article usage
the place
children
with parent's guidelines and television
can be accessed by children
conveniently with full of entertainment.Submitted by sarumanandhar36 on
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generic
Your essay begins with a strong introduction, presenting a clear stance. However, try to ensure that each paragraph stays on topic and clearly supports your main argument.
specific
Make sure to provide specific examples relevant to your main ideas. While the example of children preferring cartoons to documentaries is effective, aim to provide more varied and detailed examples.
generic
Watch out for grammatical errors, such as missing articles ('the' before 'Animal Planet'), and ensure consistent tense use. Improved accuracy can help convey ideas more clearly.
specific
It’s great that you have used connectors (e.g., 'for example'), but aim to vary these to avoid repetition. This will make your writing more engaging and improve the flow of ideas.
specific
Although the conclusion summarizes your points well, consider reiterating your main arguments more explicitly. This will reinforce your stance effectively.
specific
The introduction clearly states your position and introduces the topic effectively.
generic
The essay has a logical flow, and each paragraph supports the main argument decently.
generic
Use of connectors and transition words makes the essay easier to follow.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.