Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?
Within the dynamic landscape of contemporary discourse, the dialogues surrounding whether only useful
animals
are needed to be pretected
have captivated the collective societal conscience. It is with profound concord that I align myself with the proposition advocating Correct your spelling
protected
for
only Change preposition
that
animals
which are useful to human
should be protected Fix the agreement mistake
humans
,
because the Remove the comma
apply
benefits
for human
could be expanded and the lack of resources should be prevented.
The expanded Fix the agreement mistake
humans
benefits
for human
are Fix the agreement mistake
humans
cornerstone
of Add an article
the cornerstone
a cornerstone
this
perspective. This
viewpoint is deeply entrenched in the belief that people could enjoyed
more Change the verb form
enjoy
benefits
when only useful animals
are protected. For instance
, a seminal study corroborates this
by confirming useful animals
like deer and bear
can Fix the agreement mistake
bears
provid
antlers and fur to Correct your spelling
provide
human
, thereby strengthening Fix the agreement mistake
humans
this
perspective. Consequently
, a confluence of robust arguments underpins this
stance.
The shortage of land resource
is Fix the agreement mistake
resources
also
an essential factor.At the heart of this
argument lies the fact that there reducing
area of land can be provided to Wrong verb form
reduced
animals
because of increasing
population ,so it is better to leave only Correct article usage
the increasing
animals
which is beneficial to mankind. For example
, recent governmental analyses have disclosed the land is reduced ,the
most Correct word choice
and the
effctive
solution for Correct your spelling
effective
this
problem is to leave animals
benefiting people. These nuances advocate for a judicious approach before wholeheartedly embracing this
perspective.
In conclusion, my unwavering advocacy for only animals
which is beneficial to mankind should be protected is deeply rooted in the meticulously detailed arguments above. This
is mainly due to
the fact that the benefits
for human
could Fix the agreement mistake
humans
be strengthen
and Change the verb form
be strengthened
effctive
use of reducing areas.Correct your spelling
effective
Submitted by 15050205988 on
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments, but it would benefit from a more balanced consideration of counterarguments to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on one main idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth. This will enhance the overall coherence and make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity and grammar. For example, 'which is beneficial to mankind' should be 'which are beneficial to mankind'. Consistent use of plural forms when needed will improve the readability and accuracy of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and details to support your points more convincingly. This will help in illustrating your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is commendable, making your essay easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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