Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #danger #extinction #people #humans

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Within the dynamic landscape of contemporary discourse, the dialogues surrounding whether only useful

animals

are needed to be

pretected

Correct your spelling

protected

have captivated the collective societal conscience. It is with profound concord that I align myself with the proposition advocating

for

Change preposition

that

show examples

only

animals

which are useful to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

should be protected

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because the

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

could be expanded and the lack of resources should be prevented. The expanded

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are

cornerstone

Add an article

the cornerstone

a cornerstone

show examples

this

perspective.

This

viewpoint is deeply entrenched in the belief that people could

enjoyed

Change the verb form

enjoy

show examples

benefits

when only useful

animals

are protected.

For instance

, a seminal study corroborates

this

by confirming useful

animals

like deer and

bear

Fix the agreement mistake

bears

show examples

can

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

antlers and fur to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, thereby strengthening

this

perspective.

Consequently

, a confluence of robust arguments underpins

this

stance. The shortage of land

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

also

an essential factor.At the heart of

this

argument lies the fact that there

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

area of land can be provided to

animals

because of

increasing

Correct article usage

the increasing

show examples

population ,so it is better to leave only

animals

which is beneficial to mankind.

For example

, recent governmental analyses have disclosed the land is reduced ,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

most

effctive

Correct your spelling

effective

solution for

this

problem is to leave

animals

benefiting people. These nuances advocate for a judicious approach before wholeheartedly embracing

this

perspective. In conclusion, my unwavering advocacy for only

animals

which is beneficial to mankind should be protected is deeply rooted in the meticulously detailed arguments above.

This

is mainly

due to

the fact that the

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

could

be strengthen

Change the verb form

be strengthened

show examples

and

effctive

Correct your spelling

effective

use of reducing areas.

Submitted by 15050205988 on Fri Aug 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments, but it would benefit from a more balanced consideration of counterarguments to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on one main idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth. This will enhance the overall coherence and make your argument easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity and grammar. For example, 'which is beneficial to mankind' should be 'which are beneficial to mankind'. Consistent use of plural forms when needed will improve the readability and accuracy of your essay.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples and details to support your points more convincingly. This will help in illustrating your arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your arguments well.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your logical structure is commendable, making your essay easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thimk that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important tham History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
In this fast-changing world, we rely on Science and Technology for almost everything in our daily life. Unfortunately, the study of History has become redundant for some. In my opinion, studying History is as important as other subjects like Science and Technology.
7.5
band
some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Considering discipline for those who break laws is a common way in order to prevent recidivism. While certain people claim that prison is the best way for offenders, I agree with those who believe that punishing should depend on how severe the crime is.
6.5
band
some people think that competition at work, at school and daily life is good thing. othersbelieve that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
no one can deny that some people think that competition is a good thing. While others believe that we should try to cooperate. it is important to admit that both views have their own benefits. In this essay, I will discuss the possible reasons that support each view, and what benefits they bring to society. In my opinion, both view are a good thing and I would like to explain why I support both.
4.5
band
In somes countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?
Recently, in a part of countries, people have interest in their own house or building and they search about the history. In my country, Japan we do not have such trend, but when we buy or rent a house, we check the history. I would like to think why foreign people have interest in searching the history.
5
band
Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.
Many people believe that social media applications are the new trend ways for making social networks and marketing, while others think they are not useful for people in any way. This essay will demonstrate that these platforms have significant role for business with its wide and low cost advertisement facilities but will also show that it has some disadantages too like wasting time.

Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people thimk that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important tham History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people think all lawbreakers should be sent to prison, while others think there are better alternatives for those whose crimes are minor, such as making them do work for the local community. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

some people think that competition at work, at school and daily life is good thing. othersbelieve that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other. discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In somes countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in. What are the reasons for this? How can people research this?

Some people think that social media platforms are useful for business and making new friends, while others think that such websites are harmful. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of social media.