Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Within the dynamic landscape of contemporary discourse, the dialogues surrounding whether only useful
animals
are needed to be
pretected
Correct your spelling
protected
have captivated the collective societal conscience. It is with profound concord that I align myself with the proposition advocating
for
Change preposition
that
show examples
only
animals
which are useful to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
should be protected
,
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apply
show examples
because the
benefits
for
human
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humans
show examples
could be expanded and the lack of resources should be prevented. The expanded
benefits
for
human
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humans
show examples
are
cornerstone
Add an article
the cornerstone
a cornerstone
show examples
of
this
perspective.
This
viewpoint is deeply entrenched in the belief that people could
enjoyed
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enjoy
show examples
more
benefits
when only useful
animals
are protected.
For instance
, a seminal study corroborates
this
by confirming useful
animals
like deer and
bear
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bears
show examples
can
provid
Correct your spelling
provide
antlers and fur to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
, thereby strengthening
this
perspective.
Consequently
, a confluence of robust arguments underpins
this
stance. The shortage of land
resource
Fix the agreement mistake
resources
show examples
is
also
an essential factor.At the heart of
this
argument lies the fact that there
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
area of land can be provided to
animals
because of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
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population ,so it is better to leave only
animals
which is beneficial to mankind.
For example
, recent governmental analyses have disclosed the land is reduced ,
the
Correct word choice
and the
show examples
most
effctive
Correct your spelling
effective
solution for
this
problem is to leave
animals
benefiting people. These nuances advocate for a judicious approach before wholeheartedly embracing
this
perspective. In conclusion, my unwavering advocacy for only
animals
which is beneficial to mankind should be protected is deeply rooted in the meticulously detailed arguments above.
This
is mainly
due to
the fact that the
benefits
for
human
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humans
show examples
could
be strengthen
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be strengthened
show examples
and
effctive
Correct your spelling
effective
use of reducing areas.
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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments, but it would benefit from a more balanced consideration of counterarguments to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on one main idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth. This will enhance the overall coherence and make your argument easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity and grammar. For example, 'which is beneficial to mankind' should be 'which are beneficial to mankind'. Consistent use of plural forms when needed will improve the readability and accuracy of your essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples and details to support your points more convincingly. This will help in illustrating your arguments effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your arguments well.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is commendable, making your essay easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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