Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #danger #extinction #people #humans

Within the dynamic landscape of contemporary discourse, the dialogues surrounding whether only useful

animals

are needed to be

pretected

Correct your spelling

protected

have captivated the collective societal conscience. It is with profound concord that I align myself with the proposition advocating

for

Change preposition

that

show examples

only

animals

which are useful to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

should be protected

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because the

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

could be expanded and the lack of resources should be prevented. The expanded

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

are

cornerstone

Add an article

the cornerstone

a cornerstone

show examples

this

perspective.

This

viewpoint is deeply entrenched in the belief that people could

enjoyed

Change the verb form

enjoy

show examples

benefits

when only useful

animals

are protected.

For instance

, a seminal study corroborates

this

by confirming useful

animals

like deer and

bear

Fix the agreement mistake

bears

show examples

can

provid

Correct your spelling

provide

antlers and fur to

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

, thereby strengthening

this

perspective.

Consequently

, a confluence of robust arguments underpins

this

stance. The shortage of land

resource

Fix the agreement mistake

resources

show examples

also

an essential factor.At the heart of

this

argument lies the fact that there

reducing

Wrong verb form

reduced

show examples

area of land can be provided to

animals

because of

increasing

Correct article usage

the increasing

show examples

population ,so it is better to leave only

animals

which is beneficial to mankind.

For example

, recent governmental analyses have disclosed the land is reduced ,

the

Correct word choice

and the

show examples

most

effctive

Correct your spelling

effective

solution for

this

problem is to leave

animals

benefiting people. These nuances advocate for a judicious approach before wholeheartedly embracing

this

perspective. In conclusion, my unwavering advocacy for only

animals

which is beneficial to mankind should be protected is deeply rooted in the meticulously detailed arguments above.

This

is mainly

due to

the fact that the

benefits

for

human

Fix the agreement mistake

humans

show examples

could

be strengthen

Change the verb form

be strengthened

show examples

and

effctive

Correct your spelling

effective

use of reducing areas.

Submitted by 15050205988 on Fri Aug 16 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and provides relevant arguments, but it would benefit from a more balanced consideration of counterarguments to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is clearly focused on one main idea and that the transition between paragraphs is smooth. This will enhance the overall coherence and make your argument easier to follow.

coherence cohesion

Some sentences could be rephrased for better clarity and grammar. For example, 'which is beneficial to mankind' should be 'which are beneficial to mankind'. Consistent use of plural forms when needed will improve the readability and accuracy of your essay.

task achievement

Try to include more specific examples and details to support your points more convincingly. This will help in illustrating your arguments effectively.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion that frame your arguments well.

task achievement

You have provided relevant examples to support your arguments, which strengthens your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your logical structure is commendable, making your essay easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
In today's world, some people believe that the Olympic Games help bring nations together. However, others think that the money used for the Olympics could be better spent on other things. This essay will discuss both viewpoints and provide my opinion.
4.5
band
Some couples try to have a good career for having a baby; what you think?
Having children may be a goal in someone’s life. It’s for many reasons for example, to have their child take care of them when they get old or to have them inherit the family name. But raising a child is not an easy task. It takes a lot of time and money to bring up an infant to be a good adult. So to be a good parent, one might need a good career first.
5
band
Today People have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What do you think why it is. What are the reasons? suggest some solution for solving this situation.
It is irrefutable that, nowadays youth follow dertrimental diets and refuse physical activites. After providing the careful analysis on why the probem has risen and grow so sharply in this period. I will examine this statement and a number of way to tackle the problem.
8
band
You have lost your student ID Card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student service. Write: Advise them of yout situation; Explain how this is affecting you; Request a new card
My name is Anastassia, my student ID number is 123456AK, and I'mm a student at the nursing school in our college.
8
band
People find it difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skills are really important? Do you agree that public speaking should be taught at school?
Nowadays a large number of jobs demand the ability to talk in front of an audience. Unfortunately, not many people do not know how to do it professionally. Thus, this can be a barrier to professional growth. For this reason, I do think the knowledge of speaking in public is significant and should be one of the compulsory subjects at school. In my essay, I will introduce some ideas which support this statement.

Animals are in danger of extinction. Some people say that we should protect only those animals, which are useful to humans. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that Olympic games are exciting events that bring other nations together. Others say Olympics is a waste of money and the money could be better spent on other things. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some couples try to have a good career for having a baby; what you think?

Today People have unhealthy diets and do not exercise. What do you think why it is. What are the reasons? suggest some solution for solving this situation.

You have lost your student ID Card. This has created some problems for you. Write a letter to the director of student service. Write: Advise them of yout situation; Explain how this is affecting you; Request a new card

People find it difficult to speak in public or to give a presentation before an audience. Do you think public speaking skills are really important? Do you agree that public speaking should be taught at school?