Many people believe that reducing obesity is due to educating people, while others argue that education does not work. Discuss both points and give your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Education and Awareness: Esucation can teach individuals about the benefits of a healthy diet and the risks associated with obesity.Schools and puplic health compain=gns can play a crucil role in disseminating
this
information. Behavioral Psychology:
However
, more education might not be enough. Undestanding human behavior,
such
as habits and addiction to unhealthy food, can help develop more effective interventions
Submitted by mahmoudelheluy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to fully address both viewpoints in a balanced manner. Elaborate on the points mentioned and provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical structure of your essay. Ensure that your arguments flow smoothly from one to the next, and consider adding transitions between ideas. A clear introduction and conclusion will strengthen your essay.
task achievement
You have identified two main perspectives on the issue of reducing obesity.
coherence cohesion
You have begun to compare the effectiveness of education and understanding human behavior in addressing obesity.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Public health campaigns
  • Healthy diet
  • Behavioral interventions
  • Socioeconomic disparities
  • Access to healthy food
  • Economic policies
  • Social policies
  • Food advertising
  • Eating habits
  • Cultural practices
  • Food environment
  • Accessibility of healthy options
What to do next:
Look at other essays: