IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

It is thought by some that it’s better to live in a city while others believe that life is better in the countryside. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#it’s #city #life #countryside
It is often argued by some
people
 that living in an urban area is much better than living in rural areas.
Although
 both points have merits, I believe that living in metropolitan areas has many positive developments for an individual and the economy,
while
 in
surburban
Correct your spelling
suburbs
 are brings
quiteness
Correct your spelling
quietness
 and calmness to an
individal
Correct your spelling
individual
.
This
 essay will discuss the opposing ideas and will present my perspective. On the one hand, living in a
city
 brings many advantages for the individual.
Firstly
, all business companies and other organizations are located in
this
 area.
This
 means the worker commutes a short distance from their home to their workplace.
Thus
, It is more convenient for the employees.
Secondly
, the
city
 is more vibrant which allows
people
 to socialize and communicate.
For example
, in the
city
 and the
surroundings
Add a comma
surroundings,
show examples
 you get to meet
people
 from different backgrounds, cultures and races.
Nonetheless
, all facilities and amenities are located in the
city
, enabling
people
 to practice or purchase
good
Fix the agreement mistake
goods
show examples
 and services. So, having all
this opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
these opportunities
show examples
 will boost
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Change noun form
government's
show examples
 economy in the long run.
On the other hand
, many
people
 advocate prefer to be situated in
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
This
 is because
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task achievement
Make sure to fully develop both viewpoints in your essay, along with clearly presenting your own opinion in a separate conclusion. This will demonstrate a complete response to the task.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points more effectively. This helps to illustrate your arguments and makes your essay more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is fully developed with supporting details that stay on topic. This will help to strengthen the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear and provides a good overview of the points you will discuss.
logical structure
You have effectively initiated the discussion of both perspectives. This approach helps set up the remainder of your essay well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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