IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some old people today struggle with the use of modern technologies such as smart phones and computers. What is the cause of this, and what are some possible solutions?

Senior citizens face problems
while
Linking Words
 using modern technologies like
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and computers. The main cause of
this
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 problem is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of knowledge and the most viable
solutions
Fix the agreement mistake
solution
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 communication with young kids with strict
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 in the family. Senior
people
Use synonyms
 show fear
to adopt
Change preposition
of adopting
show examples
 new technologies because they find it hard to use them
due to
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 insufficient knowledge .
In other words
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 , old
people
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 feel embarrassed to ask from young generation to teach them about new updates and
also
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 the lack of patience to learn new things keeps them away from
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and computers .
For example
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 , most of the senior citizens residing in rural areas in India do not feel comfortable using
smartphones
Use synonyms
 for any news updates
instead
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 they would like to read newspapers. A long-term solution to
this
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 predicament is that If the younger generation in the family spends some
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with their senior members in order to educate them about new technology
then
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 most likely they would know the basic use of modern technology.
Apart from
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this
Linking Words
 , communication
among
Change preposition
between
show examples
 children and elders would become
more strong
Correct word choice
stronger
show examples
 and relationships
will
Wrong verb form
would be
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 nourished. Eventually ,It helps old
people
Use synonyms
 in the family to feel more comfortable
usingnew
Correct your spelling
using new
 devices.
For example
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 , in Punjab , India , most of the young generation spends
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 with their elders and communicates with the latest functions of apps like Whats App is the most trendy app for mature and old
people
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 . In conclusion , old
people
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 struggle
while
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 using the latest technologies like
smartphones
Use synonyms
 and the main cause of
this
Linking Words
 problem is insufficient knowledge .
Therefore
Linking Words
 , it can be addressed through spending
quality
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
among
Change preposition
with
show examples
 young family members and educating themselves by building good relationships.

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task achievement
Try to elaborate more on each point to fully flesh out your response. Adding more details and examples will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas for better flow. Use linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your essay.
coherence cohesion
Check your essay for grammatical errors and improve sentence structures to enhance readability and clarity.
introduction conclusion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provides a solid framework for your response.
supported main points
You used specific examples to illustrate your points, making your essay more engaging and relevant.
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