IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

What are the benefits of living in big cities,as opposed to rural areas? What are the problems of rural areas, and how can they be solved?

#cities #areas
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There are many advantages of living in big cities
instead
Linking Words
 of rural
areas
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as better medical facilities,
job
Use synonyms
ooportunities
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 and tertiary
education
Use synonyms
. The main problems of rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are
lack
Use synonyms
 of
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 in
education
Use synonyms
 and career
opportunities
Use synonyms
 ,Which can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 by investing
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 system like
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and building
industry
Correct article usage
an industry
show examples
for providing
Change preposition
to provide
show examples
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss all
points
Correct article usage
the points
show examples
 below. First , Big cities provide better healthcare
servicies
Correct your spelling
services
 like
specialized
Wrong verb form
specialising
show examples
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
hospitals and in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
case of emergencies they are quicker to reach any location
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
,most of the clinics
open
Add a missing verb
are open
show examples
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
24 hours.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
this
Linking Words
 ,urban
areas
Use synonyms
 have more
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 as compared to rural
areas
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
industrilization
Correct your spelling
industrialisation
 and
this
Linking Words
 is beneficial for
people
Use synonyms
 with specialized skills or higher
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , in BC ,Canada , most of the immigrants come to pursue higher
education
Use synonyms
 rather than other small states like Winnipeg and Nova Scotia.
Second,
Linking Words
the main problems of rural
areas
Use synonyms
 are
insufficent
Correct your spelling
insufficient
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
 for
high
Replace the word
highly
show examples
 skilled workers and
Correct article usage
a
show examples
lack
Use synonyms
 of
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 in the
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 do not want to live in small
towns
Use synonyms
 because
lack
Use synonyms
 of
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 technology in schools like
smartclasses
Correct your spelling
classes
 which are becoming
hindrance
Fix the agreement mistake
hindrances
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the growth of
children
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
, fewer
job
Use synonyms
opportunities
Use synonyms
available
Add a missing verb
are available
show examples
 in rural
areas
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
Use synonyms
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of investment from
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 in building shops and industries .
For example
Linking Words
 ,
people
Use synonyms
 residing in small
towns
Use synonyms
 are most likely unemployed and
suffers
Correct subject-verb agreement
suffer
show examples
 to provide better
education
Use synonyms
 to
children
Use synonyms
. It can be solved through investment in the employment sector in small
towns
Use synonyms
.
Government
Add an article
The government
show examples
 needs to invest funds to build factories in order to provide jobs to
people
Use synonyms
 so that men and women do
need
Rephrase
not need
show examples
 to travel
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
long
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
 to cities for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 and
this
Linking Words
 helps to boost
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 in small
town
Fix the agreement mistake
towns
show examples
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 funds to
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 so that they can spend on the
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 of
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 like
smartclasses
Correct your spelling
classes
 for
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
education
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
 , it has been found that those
children
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 are getting
smarteducation
Correct your spelling
an education
 are exhaling in
academic
Fix the agreement mistake
academics
show examples
. In conclusion, there are many benefits of residing in urban
areas
Use synonyms
 like better
education
Use synonyms
, healthcare and employment as compared to small
towns
Use synonyms
. Rural
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
 face problems in the cases of
infrastructure
Use synonyms
 and employment sector which can
be solve
Change the verb form
be solved
show examples
 through government investment to build factories
as well as
Linking Words
 provide smart
education
Use synonyms
 to
children
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by kmlchahal97 on

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task achievement
You have effectively covered the necessary points in your essay, addressing the benefits of living in cities and problems in rural areas along with solutions. However, try to provide more clarity and depth in your examples to strengthen your points.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear structure, it would benefit from smoother transitions between ideas. Consider using more varied linking phrases to improve the flow of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your sentence structures and enhancing the overall clarity of your essay. Pay attention to minor grammatical errors and spelling mistakes to ensure coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a strong introduction and a clear conclusion, which effectively summarize the main points.
task achievement
You clearly stated the benefits of living in big cities and identified the key issues in rural areas. This demonstrates a good understanding of the topic.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Amenities
  • Employment opportunities
  • Healthcare services
  • Educational institutions
  • Public transport
  • Social interactions
  • Quality of life
  • Specialized skills
  • Diverse industries
  • Medical care
  • Concentration
  • Infrastructure
  • Government investment
  • Internet connectivity
  • Local businesses
  • Community building
What to do next:
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