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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.
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This
Linking Words
 line graph illustrates the amount of
visitors
Use synonyms
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
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 for
visitors
Use synonyms
 to
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
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 over
of
Change preposition
apply
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eighteen
years
Use synonyms
 from five countries.
from
Capitalize word
From
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 what you can see it shows Australia increased faster over the
years
Use synonyms
 from 1996 to 2003 it was between 1,000 to almost 1800 .
Then
Linking Words
 the price got higher in the year (2004;2006) it almost reached 25000. surprisingly in the next three
years
Use synonyms
 from 2010 to 2014 the price reached lower
Change preposition
than
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to
Change preposition
than
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 2000, as for the
united states
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United States
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 of
Change the capitalization
America
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america
Change the capitalization
America
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Correct pronoun usage
it
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who
Correct pronoun usage
it
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 never reached
one thousand
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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eight hundred figuratively their highest price was almost one thousand seven hundred
wich
Change to a plural noun
wichs
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 was in the year 2010 and
that is
Linking Words
 not as low as the
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
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visitors
Use synonyms
 they are nothing compared to the other countries, they spent zero over the
years
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 until 2004 they have reached 500 only after that they decreased to 250 and
cept
Correct your spelling
kept
 on that way.  In the
united
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
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kingdom
Add a comma
kingdom,
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 they seem to be contradicting amongst themselves because by what is shown in the line graph there seems to be a great shift between the prices over the
years
Use synonyms
.
overall
Linking Words
 we have
discoverd
Correct your spelling
discovered
 that these countries and those
visitors
Use synonyms
 depending
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 country they are
,
Change preposition
in, they
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they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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choose how they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
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 their money very differently. I do think their culture has
in
Correct your spelling
an
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 effect on that matter. either
way
Add a comma
way,
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i
Change the capitalization
I
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 think it is a good
Correct your spelling
thing
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think
Correct your spelling
thing
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 to be different from
Correct your spelling
each other
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 so everyone can be creative and to be
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
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 for cultural
discoverys
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discoveries
discovery
 around the world

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • visitor spend
  • over a period of
  • eighteen years
  • between 1996 and 2014
  • general trend
  • observed
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuations
  • a breakdown of
  • spending habits
  • comparison
  • highest spenders
  • lowest spenders
  • possible reasons
  • economic conditions
  • tourism promotions
  • significant events
  • specific significant peaks
  • drops in spending
  • corresponding years
  • impact of external factors
  • global financial crisis
  • natural disasters
  • summarizing
  • overall trend
  • implications
  • tourism industry
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