IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.

The line graph illustrates the amount of visitor spend for visitors to New Zealand from 5 countries over a period of eighteen years between 1996 and 2014.
#line #amount #visitor #visitors #zealand #countries #period #eighteen #years
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
This
 line graph illustrates the amount of
visitors
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 for
visitors
 to
new zealand
Correct your spelling
New Zealand
show examples
 over
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
eighteen
years
 from five countries.
from
Capitalize word
From
show examples
 what you can see it shows Australia increased faster over the
years
 from 1996 to 2003 it was between 1,000 to almost 1800 .
Then
 the price got higher in the year (2004;2006) it almost reached 25000. surprisingly in the next three
years
 from 2010 to 2014 the price reached lower
Change preposition
than
show examples
to
Change preposition
than
show examples
 2000, as for the
united states
Correct your spelling
United States
show examples
 of
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
america
Change the capitalization
America
show examples
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
who
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
 never reached
one thousand
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
eight hundred figuratively their highest price was almost one thousand seven hundred
wich
Change to a plural noun
wichs
show examples
 was in the year 2010 and
that is
 not as low as the
chinese
Change the capitalization
Chinese
show examples
visitors
 they are nothing compared to the other countries, they spent zero over the
years
 until 2004 they have reached 500 only after that they decreased to 250 and
cept
Correct your spelling
kept
 on that way.  In the
united
Correct your spelling
United Kingdom
show examples
kingdom
Add a comma
kingdom,
show examples
 they seem to be contradicting amongst themselves because by what is shown in the line graph there seems to be a great shift between the prices over the
years
.
overall
 we have
discoverd
Correct your spelling
discovered
 that these countries and those
visitors
 depending
from
Change preposition
on
show examples
wich
Correct your spelling
which
show examples
 country they are
,
Change preposition
in, they
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
choose how they
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
 their money very differently. I do think their culture has
in
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
 effect on that matter. either
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 think it is a good
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
think
Correct your spelling
thing
show examples
 to be different from
Correct your spelling
each other
eachother
Correct your spelling
each other
 so everyone can be creative and to be
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded
show examples
 for cultural
discoverys
Correct your spelling
discoveries
discovery
 around the world
Submitted by almudaiferh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 87%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words visitors, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • visitor spend
  • over a period of
  • eighteen years
  • between 1996 and 2014
  • general trend
  • observed
  • increase
  • decrease
  • fluctuations
  • a breakdown of
  • spending habits
  • comparison
  • highest spenders
  • lowest spenders
  • possible reasons
  • economic conditions
  • tourism promotions
  • significant events
  • specific significant peaks
  • drops in spending
  • corresponding years
  • impact of external factors
  • global financial crisis
  • natural disasters
  • summarizing
  • overall trend
  • implications
  • tourism industry
What to do next:
Look at other essays: