Although necessary experimentations play a pivotal role in scientific discovery, fauna must not be threatened. While some people argue that experimentation on animals is deleterious and it should be outlawed,others are of the view that discoveries in scientific fields can only be made by using animals for demonstration. I opine that harming wildlife should not be encouraged just for benefiting the society because it plays an important role in our ecosystem.
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Although
this
topic is widely debated, people must not ignore it as frivolous.Experimentations performed on wildlife
may help in augmenting the
scientific discoveriesCorrect article usage
apply
,
but will jeopardize animal Remove the comma
apply
wildlife
. For instance
, according to
reports published in China, many species of bear got
diagnosed with cancer after performing multiple experiments only to trace back their ancestral history. Verb problem
were
Therefore
, such
actions alleviate endangering species which as
Change preposition
apply
a
Correct article usage
apply
result
in Correct subject-verb agreement
results
the
extinction. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, such
actions must be prohibited by regulating authorities and the government should take strict actions against this
act.
Discovery in the field of science can be improved if other options are availed. Firstly
, experimentations should be done on microbes , for example
, bacteria and algae etc. For Instance
, many experimentations involved the use of bacteria ,which had been helpful in diagnosing diseases and unveiling its
causes. Correct pronoun usage
their
Secondly
, only the infected species or the organism should be selected to perform experiments on
. Change preposition
apply
Lastl
, advancements in the field of technology can aid in opening the doors to scientific worlds ;Correct your spelling
Last
therefore
, it will not deteriorate the natural ecosystem and will not risk wildlife
.
In a nutshell, causing threats to animal life should not be accepted. It is suggested that other improved alternatives should be chosen ,for protecting and preserving wildlife
should be an international concern. In the end , governments must impose strict laws to eradicate this
action or otherwise
fauna will face unprecedented consequences.Submitted by uroojzulqernain on
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task achievement
Your essay presents clear arguments against animal experimentation and suggests alternatives. However, ensure that each paragraph contains one clear main idea that is fully developed. For example, the first body paragraph can discuss the moral implications of animal testing, while the second can elaborate on alternatives.
coherence cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs. Use linking words or phrases to show contrast or agreement, such as 'However', 'Moreover', 'In addition', and 'On the other hand'. This will help to improve coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and ensure consistency in tense and structure. This includes fixing minor typos such as 'lastl' to 'lastly'. Grammatical accuracy will make your arguments clearer and more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage well for the debate on animal experimentation, clearly stating your opinion that it should not be encouraged.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, such as the bear species diagnosed with cancer and the use of bacteria in experiments.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and reiterates the necessity of protecting wildlife, strengthening your overall stance.
Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.
A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).
Stick to this essay structure:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion