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Writing Samples
Band 5

The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent

The diagram below shows how one type of coal is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent
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The diagram demonstrates the stages of producing electrical sources by using just one kind of coal.
Overall
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,
it is clear that
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 it requires 8 different steps to produce electricity, from collecting the raw materials in coal mines and distributing the resulting products to homes and industries.
To begin
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, we can notice that coal is first mined in coal mines in order to be crushed, and
then
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 crushed coal is transported by trucks towards
gasifier
Correct article usage
a gasifier
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. At the next stage of the process of producing electricity, transported coal is transformed from solid to gas and other solid waste is discarded.
Moreover
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, at the following step of the process, the gas material is cooled.
Next,
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the resulting material is gone through a gas power station, where other heat products are trashed.
At the end
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 of
this
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 process of manufacturing electrical sources, resulting electricity is allocated to different features
such
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 as houses and other industries for various purposes.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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