You recently travelled by train on a long journey and you experienced various problems. Write a letter to the train company's head office. In your letter, - Give the details of your journey, including the date, time and where you sat - explain the problems that happened and express your dissatisfaction - ask about what action will be taken to improve the service

#train #journey #company #head #office #date #time #dissatisfaction #action #service

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Dear manager hope you find

this

letter in spirit and good radiant ,I have been travelling with the train in the next week,

hence

,I am writing

this

letter to explain some problems ,I have started the journey with my husband for honeymoon,

in addition

,we start the trip from Berlin to Paris,I have chosen

this

way because we want to enjoy the trip and see the road ,

such

as beautiful jungles ,rivers ,

besides

, I have chosen the summer season for seeing green colourful of the nature,

finally

when we will arrive we want to see many famous places,

for instance

:Louver museum,Eifel tower and etc. As you know about Paris,it's a big city with many tourists ,

also

,they can see the rate of robbery, and loss of many things

such

as passports,money,and important and valuable things ,

consequently

,I appreciate you ,if it is possible you have given

Change the article

show examples

unique and single room in the train for me and husband ,in more details a room

that is

more convenient and comfortable.

Finally

,I am ready to pay more money to have a complete room,I am waiting for your answer to the letter and if you have any questions about anything please do not hesitate . yours sincerely , Pardis Ghobadi

Submitted by pardisghobadi on Sat Sep 28 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

While you included many details about your travel plans, you didn't clearly explain the problems you encountered during the journey. Be sure to address each part of the prompt in your response.

coherence cohesion

Try to organize your ideas better by separating different points into distinct paragraphs. Each paragraph should convey a single main idea or aspect of your experience for better clarity.

task achievement

Maintain a consistent tone throughout the letter. Your request for a single room feels out of place in a letter about encountering problems during a journey. Make sure the tone fits the context appropriately.

greeting and closing

Good attempt at starting the letter with a greeting and closing it appropriately.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

201 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Few individuals believe that students should learn variety of subjects to gain more knowledge, on the other hand few people thinks that undergraduates should acquire limited number of subjects with focused and deeply. This essay will intends to analyse both view and explain why i am in favouring of limited number of education.
7.5
band
In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally Why people buy imported food ? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food ?
In many nations nowadays, there are more people who prefer imported snacks to local snacks, which derives from the better standard of foreign cuisine. However, this can be tackled by improving the quality control of local food.
7.5
band
Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.
Nowadays, there has been a dramatic change in children's activities around the globe which helps them to acquire logical , analytical, and reasoning skills and a lot more. There are now a plethora of activities such as video sports, puzzles, swimming dancing and much more which result in the healthy development of kids' minds. In my opinion, I advocate that extracurricular exercises will bring an avalanche of benefits for the holistic development of the younger ones. This essay will discuss key things in detail.
4.5
band
Your English speaking friend has asked you your help with college project he or she is doing about celebrating new year in different countries write a letter to your friend in your letter say how important new year is to people in your country describe how new year celebrated in your country explain what you like about new year celebration in your country
Hope this letter finds you well with a good health today I am explaining how important it is for new year celebration in my country.
4
band
Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantages?
Over the years, healthcare has been changing. The basic service of a simple doctor, who achieves it’s knowledge with a book and own experiences has transformed into big companies which work with the contribution of all its customers to pay for the doctors, exams, treatment and some specialists. They are called HPE and it could be better than a unique doctor, because they are supported by private funds and even the government. It could be good for society, because you will have a system supporting you, but I think that it has some variables that we need to analyze in this essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Some people think that older school children should learn a wide range of subjects to acquire more knowledge, while other people believe they should learn a small number of subjects in details. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produce locally Why people buy imported food ? What could be done to encourage people to buy local food ?

Doing an enjoyable activity with a child can develop better skills and more creativity than reading. To what extent do you agree? Use reasons and specific examples to explain your answer.

Some people think that good health is a basic human need, so the medical service should not be run by profit-making companies. Do you think the disadvantages of private healthcare outweigh the advantages?