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Band 6

You visit a sports centre regularly, and there is a problem with the changing rooms in it. You have complained about it several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter, describe what the problem with the changing rooms is say what happened the last time you complained explain what you want the manager to do

#visit #sports #centre #rooms #times #success #manager #time
Dear manager, I am writing
this
 letter to express my disappointment regarding the changing rooms of a sports
center
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centre
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 that I notice are not in
a good conditions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a good condition
good conditions
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. I am Rohit Sharma your long-term visitor, from the opening of
this
 club and I find some issues first time with changing area.
Firstly
, lockers are broken where usually visitors keep their belongings but these days it is not safe. Even,
last
 Sunday, somebody
stolen
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stole
has stolen
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 my friend's wallet, luckily nothing was in his purse.
Also
,
due to
 lack of
security
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security,
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 these kinds of problems are happening.
As well
Rephrase
Also
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 cleaning staff clean the area
one
Correct your spelling
once
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 a week and inadequate lighting
creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
 various issues.
Last
end
Correct article usage
the end
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 of the month, I complained to
supervisor
Correct pronoun usage
my supervisor
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, John but he just wrote all the troubles on the complaint form and ignored it.
Then
 felt very bad because it is
public
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a public
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 place where people spend money to enjoy their time if it is not clean and good to use
then
 who will join
this
 next time
.
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?
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 So, I
decide
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decided
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 to reach you. Could you hire new people for cleaning who will take care
all
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of all
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area
Correct article usage
the area
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 daily and call
to
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apply
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an electrician
for fixing
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to fix
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new
Correct article usage
the new
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 lights
.
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?
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Moreover
, install
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 latest security system and enhance the security guards in front of the entrance which will check the incoming person with their proof of identification. I hope for a prompt response from your side regarding
this
 persistent issue. Yours sincerely, Rohit Sharma
Submitted by harmandeep51075 on

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task achievement
Try to proofread your letter to catch minor errors, such as grammar issues and typos. This will help improve the quality and readability.
coherence cohesion
Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas, which will help your letter flow more smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure to complete the sentences and ensure clarity in each point to avoid any misunderstandings.
task achievement
You have provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering all the necessary points: the problem, what happened last time, and what you expect the manager to do.
coherence cohesion
Your letter starts with a clear greeting and ends with a polite closing, maintaining a professional tone throughout.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, making it easier to follow your reasoning and understand the issues you are raising.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • persistent issue
  • broken lockers
  • lack of cleanliness
  • inadequate lighting
  • poor ventilation
  • overall experience
  • previous complaints
  • promises or assurances
  • staff or manager
  • lack of resolution
  • express frustration
  • specific actions
  • repairing the broken facilities
  • hiring additional cleaning staff
  • enhancing security
  • facility's upkeep
  • retaining membership
  • customer satisfaction
  • follow-up meeting
  • inspection
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