You visit a sports centre regularly, and there is a problem with the changing rooms in it. You have complained about it several times but with no success. Write a letter to the manager of the sports centre. In your letter, describe what the problem with the changing rooms is say what happened the last time you complained explain what you want the manager to do

#visit #sports #centre #rooms #times #success #manager #time

Dear manager, I am writing

this

letter to express my disappointment regarding the changing rooms of a sports

center

Change the spelling

centre

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that I notice are not in

a good conditions

Correct the article-noun agreement

a good condition

good conditions

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. I am Rohit Sharma your long-term visitor, from the opening of

this

club and I find some issues first time with changing area.

Firstly

, lockers are broken where usually visitors keep their belongings but these days it is not safe. Even,

last

Sunday, somebody

stolen

Add the auxiliary verb

stole

has stolen

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my friend's wallet, luckily nothing was in his purse.

Also

due to

lack of

security

Add a comma

security,

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these kinds of problems are happening.

As well

Rephrase

Also

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cleaning staff clean the area

one

Correct your spelling

once

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a week and inadequate lighting

creats

Correct your spelling

creates

create

various issues.

Last

end

Correct article usage

the end

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of the month, I complained to

supervisor

Correct pronoun usage

my supervisor

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, John but he just wrote all the troubles on the complaint form and ignored it.

Then

felt very bad because it is

public

Add an article

a public

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place where people spend money to enjoy their time if it is not clean and good to use

then

who will join

this

next time

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So, I

decide

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decided

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to reach you. Could you hire new people for cleaning who will take care

all

Change preposition

of all

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area

Correct article usage

the area

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daily and call

Change preposition

apply

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an electrician

for fixing

Change preposition

to fix

show examples

new

Correct article usage

the new

show examples

lights

Change the punctuation

show examples

Moreover

, install

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the

show examples

latest security system and enhance the security guards in front of the entrance which will check the incoming person with their proof of identification. I hope for a prompt response from your side regarding

this

persistent issue. Yours sincerely, Rohit Sharma

Submitted by harmandeep51075 on Fri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

Try to proofread your letter to catch minor errors, such as grammar issues and typos. This will help improve the quality and readability.

coherence cohesion

Consider using more transitional phrases to connect your ideas, which will help your letter flow more smoothly.

task achievement

Make sure to complete the sentences and ensure clarity in each point to avoid any misunderstandings.

task achievement

You have provided a comprehensive response to the prompt, covering all the necessary points: the problem, what happened last time, and what you expect the manager to do.

coherence cohesion

Your letter starts with a clear greeting and ends with a polite closing, maintaining a professional tone throughout.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, making it easier to follow your reasoning and understand the issues you are raising.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

240 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

persistent issue
broken lockers
lack of cleanliness
inadequate lighting
poor ventilation
overall experience
previous complaints
promises or assurances
staff or manager
lack of resolution
express frustration
specific actions
repairing the broken facilities
hiring additional cleaning staff
enhancing security
facility's upkeep
retaining membership
customer satisfaction
follow-up meeting
inspection

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