IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

There are now millions of cars on roads in most big cities. Pollution from cars is the most important problem that big cities face today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, with the rise in the number of
cars
Use synonyms
 on the roads, it has become increasingly common for cities to become polluted areas.
While
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 car seems to be the core driver of
this
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 issue, I believe that the influence of other factors,
such
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 as buildings and
factories
Use synonyms
, carries greater weight. With the advancement of technology,
cars
Use synonyms
 are not the main culprit of
pollution
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 in metropolitan areas, as governmental activities are restricting the effects of
pollution
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 before it becomes a major problem by offering electronic
cars
Use synonyms
 to the public.
This
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 means that rather than relying on fossil fuels, which have a negative effect on the quality of the
air
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, electronic engine
cars
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 will become available that are environmentally friendly.
In addition
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, millions of electronic
cars
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 are no longer the reason for
pollution
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 in urban areas. As an example, electronic
cars
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 have no harm to
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air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 with no unwanted noise, with 0% effect
as a result
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. These days, building infrastructure, houses, apartments, and
factories
Use synonyms
 start to be seen in every corner of the city. We are posing a threat in many ways. When it comes to building different structures, the demands for them are rising continuously day by day with the rise in population, resulting in noise and
air
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pollution
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. Since the process of building requires digging using natural resources and shipping,
this
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 results in
factories
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 being another sensible cause for
this
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 particular issue.
Due to
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 the need for different and renewable materials and ready resources, they often utilize coal and oil for manufacturing products, producing a huge amount of CO gas into the
air
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, which is significantly harmful to city dwellers.
To conclude
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,
although
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cars
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 may seem like a reasonable pollutant, I contend that construction and
factories
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 cause more
pollution
Use synonyms
 in cities.

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, giving actual data or case studies about the effectiveness of electronic cars in reducing pollution can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus, and transitions between ideas are smooth. Although your essay is generally coherent, some transitions could be more fluid to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You presented multiple views and supported your main points well, showing a good understanding of the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • emissions
  • greenhouse gases
  • climate change
  • air quality
  • traffic congestion
  • urban areas
  • smog
  • public health
  • respiratory problems
  • noise pollution
  • mental health
  • industrial emissions
  • deforestation
  • waste management
  • technological advancements
  • policy interventions
  • electric vehicles
  • emission regulations
  • urban environments
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