IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

There are now millions of cars on roads in most big cities. Pollution from cars is the most important problem that big cities face today. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#millions #cars #roads #cities #pollution #face
In recent years, with the rise in the number of
cars
 on the roads, it has become increasingly common for cities to become polluted areas.
While
 car seems to be the core driver of
this
 issue, I believe that the influence of other factors,
such
 as buildings and
factories
, carries greater weight. With the advancement of technology,
cars
 are not the main culprit of
pollution
 in metropolitan areas, as governmental activities are restricting the effects of
pollution
 before it becomes a major problem by offering electronic
cars
 to the public.
This
 means that rather than relying on fossil fuels, which have a negative effect on the quality of the
air
, electronic engine
cars
 will become available that are environmentally friendly.
In addition
, millions of electronic
cars
 are no longer the reason for
pollution
 in urban areas. As an example, electronic
cars
 have no harm to
air
Correct article usage
the air
show examples
 with no unwanted noise, with 0% effect
as a result
. These days, building infrastructure, houses, apartments, and
factories
 start to be seen in every corner of the city. We are posing a threat in many ways. When it comes to building different structures, the demands for them are rising continuously day by day with the rise in population, resulting in noise and
air
pollution
. Since the process of building requires digging using natural resources and shipping,
this
 results in
factories
 being another sensible cause for
this
 particular issue.
Due to
 the need for different and renewable materials and ready resources, they often utilize coal and oil for manufacturing products, producing a huge amount of CO gas into the
air
, which is significantly harmful to city dwellers.
To conclude
,
although
cars
 may seem like a reasonable pollutant, I contend that construction and
factories
 cause more
pollution
 in cities.
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Ensure that you provide specific examples to support your points. For instance, giving actual data or case studies about the effectiveness of electronic cars in reducing pollution can make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus, and transitions between ideas are smooth. Although your essay is generally coherent, some transitions could be more fluid to better connect your ideas.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument well.
task achievement
You presented multiple views and supported your main points well, showing a good understanding of the issue.
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