IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

The movement of people from agricultural areas to cities to work can cause serious problems in both places. What are the serious problems and what measures can be taken to solve this problem?Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The past 50 years have seen a dramatic increase in immigrating people from the
countryside
Use synonyms
 to the urban areas for the sake of better job opportunities. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I intend to explore some of the significant challenges associated with
this
Linking Words
 trend,
as well as
Linking Words
, present some alternatives to address
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon. First of all, I believe that the most serious difficulty would be desolated
villages
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 the emergence of a booming population in
cities
Use synonyms
. Having relocated to
cities
Use synonyms
 would encounter
cities
Use synonyms
 with a lack of housing to accommodate
such
Linking Words
 a huge number of immigrants, contributing to the consequent difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as inflation in house prices, homelessness, and low quality of life
as a result
Linking Words
. Simultaneously, inhibited
villages
Use synonyms
 would expose
such
Linking Words
 places to a considerable lake of workforces for agriculture, resulting in an exponential decline in agricultural commodities and the recession of the agriculture industry in the long term.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, governments could play an indisputable role in solving
this
Linking Words
 issue. Of course, living in
cities
Use synonyms
 is accompanied by more convenience and wealth,
however
Linking Words
, I feel that offering financial incentives for immigrants to the
countryside
Use synonyms
 could reverse
this
Linking Words
 trend and attract more families to adopt
villages
Use synonyms
 to live in.
For instance
Linking Words
, in Turkey, the government applied a 50% discount on medical and educational services to residents in
villages
Use synonyms
 in 2017, which caused an influx of people to the
countryside
Use synonyms
. Importantly, rather than concentrating all facilities in urban areas, transferring some of them like recreational or educational facilities to the
countryside
Use synonyms
 could discourage people from relocating to
cities
Use synonyms
. So, taking these policies could alleviate those negative implications. By way of conclusion, I reckon that
although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is unlikely to be resolved in the foreseeable future, taking the mentioned measures has the potential to bring the population balance back to both urban and rural areas.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
To enhance task response, ensure each issue and solution is equally elaborated. Consider adding more specific examples to illustrate the discussed problems and solutions.
coherence cohesion
Improve coherence by utilizing a more varied range of linking words and phrases to connect ideas smoothly across paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay identifies significant problems and proposes practical solutions. The arguments are well-reasoned and relevant to the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. A logical flow of ideas is maintained throughout.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: