Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

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Nowadays, the prices of universities increased.

This

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imposes more burdens on the

students

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Therefore

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, a wide range of them are working in part-time jobs.

This

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affected their studies and grades. In

this

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essay, I will elaborate on the issues that will affect the upcoming generations. I will

also

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demonstrate the solution to gain a suitable life during the university study period. To commence with, a diverse range of

students

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are aware of their studies. They are studying hard to gain high marks.

However

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, during their journey, they can meet a lot of obstacles and

this

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can reflect in their final grades.

In addition

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, they will be frustrated and can cause a medical issue.They will be stressed because they are trying to balance between working and studying.

For instance

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students

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in rural areas in Egypt are working

while

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studying. They are not earning a lot of money.

As a result

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, a lot of them are suffering from depression and they are diabetic too.

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, some

students

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will think of robes. They will believe that

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is an effortless way to acquire money. One immediate solution is to exempt the pupils from any wages during the university. They have the right to learn for free. One of the sparked instances in Indonesia. The government found that the best way to invest is to invest in their youths.

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, they let them study for free and in the future they will pay back the taxes. Moving

further

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, the government should be aware of the professors who force their pupils to purchase their books,

otherwise

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they will not pass in their subjects.

For example

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. In Egypt, to pass an exam you should buy the professor's books and materials.

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phenomenon affected the education system in Egypt and the

students

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are unable to endure

this

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more. In conclusion, the government should play a more crucial role in

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issue. It should find a way to alleviate the burdens on the

students

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This

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will have a positive effect in the future and will build a bold and well-known generation.

mohannadsmeFri Aug 16 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific details in your examples to strengthen your argument. For instance, elaborate on how the free education system in Indonesia has positively affected students.

coherence cohesion

Work on enhancing the clarity of your sentences. Occasionally, the ideas are a bit convoluted which affects the reader's ability to grasp the point being made.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This aids in maintaining cohesion and coherence.

task achievement

The author successfully addresses the task by discussing both the issues faced by students working part-time jobs and providing possible solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

343 words

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Students tend to choose a part-time job to earn money during the University students’ life, so they cannot balance between the work and study. How could this issue affect the future generation and what are the solutions to have a better life on the university study level?

Your opinion

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons of this behaviour? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

In recent years, there has been a significant advancement in AI and automation technologies. Some argue that these technologies will lead to widespread job displacement. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the statement?

In many countries, the government likes to spend more money on the arts. Some people agree with this. However, others think government should spend more on health and education. Discuss both sides and giver your opinion.

Some people think that it is more beneficial to take part in sports which are played in teams, like football, while other people think that taking part in individual sports, like tennis or swimming, is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.