Nowadays the wave many people interact with each other has changed because of technology in what ways technology has affected the types of relations people make has this become a positive or negative development

as the world develops everything changes
technology
develops in
this
essay. We discuss some issues because
technology
as
result
Add an article
a result
show examples
of
technology
the relation
people
additions,
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
some advantages and disadvantages for
technology
in
relationship
Firstly
, want
to begin
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of
technology
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relation
people
Change preposition
to people
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
helps
people
to keep communicating with each other earlier messages took some days or months to
reached
Change the form of the verb
reach
show examples
, now
become
Verb problem
they are
show examples
in the same second . It
is help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
live in another city for study or work and
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can call family and friends easily .
For example
.,
can
Correct pronoun usage
one can
show examples
use the social media WhatsApp, Snapchat and
other app
Change the wording
another app
other apps
show examples
.
Furthermore
., calling video and FaceTime.
another
Fix the agreement mistake
On the other
show examples
hand communication with
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
some demerits . To
clear
Replace the word
clarify
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
relationship
being
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
superficial , because misunderstanding for intense and the message,
you
Correct word choice
and you
show examples
can't hear the voice and
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
messages, but the other person
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
Correct article usage
a difference
show examples
difference
Replace the word
different
show examples
way .
And communicate
Correct word choice
Communicate
show examples
in
Change preposition
via
show examples
technology
inherently
keep
Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
show examples
the
relation
Replace the word
relationship
show examples
just, but it doesn't replace in life , you meet friends and family In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
has
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
many adventures and problems because you can't touch other
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
and in
message
Add an article
the message
a message
show examples
can
understanding
Wrong verb form
understand
show examples
what you mean the others .
More
Rephrase
Moreover
show examples
over
Change preposition
apply
show examples
some
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
show examples
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
and can
communication
Replace the word
communicate
show examples
with family and friends and take news faster.
This
statement is
Correct article usage
an effectively
show examples
effectively
Change the word
effective
show examples
way to keep the
relationship
.
Submitted by dana31m7 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This will help improve the logical structure and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
general
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and avoid misunderstandings. Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct such issues.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do cover the main points of your argument, which is a positive aspect.
task achievement
You have mentioned some relevant points about the impact of technology on relationships, showing a good understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global networks
  • multicultural interactions
  • social media platforms
  • digital chats
  • physical presence
  • video calls
  • instant messaging
  • dating apps
  • professional networking sites
  • network, collaborate
  • job opportunities
  • revolutionized
  • online communication tools
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