Nowadays the wave many people interact with each other has changed because of technology in what ways technology has affected the types of relations people make has this become a positive or negative development
as the world develops everything changes
technology
develops in this
essay. We discuss some issues because technology
as result
of Add an article
a result
technology
the relation people
additions, give
some advantages and disadvantages for Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
technology
in relationship
Firstly
, want to begin
in
Change preposition
with
merits
of Correct article usage
the merits
technology
in the
relation Correct article usage
apply
people
, Change preposition
to people
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
helps people
to keep communicating with each other earlier messages took some days or months to reached
, now Change the form of the verb
reach
become
in the same second . It Verb problem
they are
is help
Change the verb form
helps
people
live in another city for study or work and he
can call family and friends easily . Correct pronoun usage
they
For example
., can
use the social media WhatsApp, Snapchat and Correct pronoun usage
one can
other app
. Change the wording
another app
other apps
Furthermore
., calling video and FaceTime.
another
hand communication with Fix the agreement mistake
On the other
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
a
some demerits . To Remove the article
apply
clear
Replace the word
clarify
that
Correct determiner usage
the
relationship
being
superficial , because misunderstanding for intense and the message, Wrong verb form
is
you
can't hear the voice and Correct word choice
and you
understanding
messages, but the other person Wrong verb form
understand
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
Correct article usage
a difference
difference
way . Replace the word
different
And communicate
Correct word choice
Communicate
in
Change preposition
via
technology
inherently keep
the Correct subject-verb agreement
keeps
relation
just, but it doesn't replace in life , you meet friends and family
In conclusion, Replace the word
relationship
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
has a
many adventures and problems because you can't touch other Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
person
and in Fix the agreement mistake
people
message
can Add an article
the message
a message
understanding
what you mean the others . Wrong verb form
understand
More
Rephrase
Moreover
over
some Change preposition
apply
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits
keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
the
Correct article usage
apply
relationship
and can Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
communication
with family and friends and take news faster. Replace the word
communicate
This
statement is Correct article usage
an effectively
effectively
way to keep the Change the word
effective
relationship
.Submitted by dana31m7 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay with clear paragraphs for each main idea. This will help improve the logical structure and coherence of your writing.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
general
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity and avoid misunderstandings. Proofreading your essay can help identify and correct such issues.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion do cover the main points of your argument, which is a positive aspect.
task achievement
You have mentioned some relevant points about the impact of technology on relationships, showing a good understanding of the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.