The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

#percentage #children #countries #ten #years #effects #trend #offer

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Obesity has become a matter of concern, for a few years all over the world. In the urban nations, the number of people gaining weight has increased by 20% in the decade.

This

essay will shed light on reasons, and outcomes and will suggest some possible solutions in the following paragraphs.

To begin

with, the first and foremost reason is the excessive intake of fast

food

among youngsters. To explicate it, in normal cases, both parents are doing 9 to 5 jobs

due to

which they have less time to cook

food

at home,

thus

, prefer to order from outside.

This

ready-made

food

become very common in families, especially

children

, eventually.

Furthermore

, a sedentary lifestyle is another factor which leads to obesity. To make it clearer, nowadays,

children

are habitual of playing video games online rather than performing physical activities outside.

Therefore

, individuals are more likely to gain weight in

this

situation. There are many bad outcomes of

this

trend.

Firstly

, extra consumption of oily

food

leads to many harmful diseases

such

as asthma, heart

diseases

Fix the agreement mistake

disease

show examples

, and higher cholesterol levels. Eating too much street

food

on a regular basis can

also

lead to death gradually.

Secondly

, spending time on remote games only allows less interaction with their friends and family which weakens the bond between them.

Moreover

, extra screening time has a bad impact on the eyesight of pupils, so, on academics.

Lastly

children

will have fewer job opportunities in the future.

In other words

, they will face difficulties in finding jobs because some jobs are more demanding and find physically fit employees. The government should take some strict action to mitigate

this

problem, the prominent one is they should ban the production of cheap market

food

Also

, the higher authority should introduce school seminars regarding the importance of extracurricular activities in schools

along with

academics.

Moreover

, parents should be encouraged to motivate their

children

to participate in physical activities. In conclusion,

although

over-reliance on junk

food

and a sedentary lifestyle are the main reasons which have serious effects on health and friendship,

however

, the authorities can introduce effective ways to tackle

this

problem.

Submitted by kknavdeep2000 on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task response

While the essay provides clear reasons and outcomes, along with a solution, try to add more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For example, include data or studies related to fast food consumption and obesity.

coherence cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly to the next. For example, transitional phrases like 'Moreover,' 'Additionally,' and 'Consequently' can help link ideas better.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, enhancing its overall structure.

task response

The main points are well-supported and relevant to the topic, which makes the argument more persuasive.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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16
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

354 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
nutritional value
screen time
socio-economic factors
chronic diseases
self-esteem
bullying
financial burden
promote healthy eating
physical activity
whole grains
education and awareness
policy and regulation
subsidies
fast food
obesity-related conditions

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The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the possible causes and effects of this disturbing trend and offer a solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Many people around the world use social media every day to keep in touch with other people and get new events. Do ou think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Children have more and more tests and exams to do at school, sometime starting until the age of five or six, right up until the age of eighteen. What are the advantages and disadvantages of making childern do exams?

Some people believe that global warming is today’s most pressing environmental problem. At the same time, some consider deforestation to have the most devastating impact on the world. Discuss both views and give your opinion on the same. You should write at least 250 words for this task.

Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion