In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

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Most
Change preposition
In most

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metropolitan
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city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities

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, it is growing numerous
people
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who are not
known
Wrong verb form
know

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb known. Consider changing it.

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their bordering
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resident
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residents

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and
Linking Words
Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
the

The word then doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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feeling of community is lost.
There
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The

The word There doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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two main factors are
the
Correct article usage
apply

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lifestyle and busy
time
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times

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. To overcome
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

address
are
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb are appears to be unnecessary here.

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, the first one is the government make
social
Add an article
a social
the social

The noun phrase social organization seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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organization
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. The second is making
lottery
Correct article usage
a lottery

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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club. Trending
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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lifestyle is popular in
big
Add an article
the big
a big

The noun phrase big city seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities

It seems that city may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can follow the trend,
so
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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if their nearby
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Use synonyms
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents

It seems that resident may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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not
Add a missing verb
do not

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the
Add a missing verb
have the

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same
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life-style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle

The word life-style doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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. So that they do not want to know.
As a result
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can decrease the interaction with other
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because they are not the same
frequent
Change the word
frequently

Frequent seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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with them.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that,
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

materialistic
Correct word choice
apply

There may be an adjective issue here.

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is one
cases
Change to a singular noun
case

The singular quantifier one is followed by the plural noun cases. Consider changing the noun to the singular or using a different quantifier.

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in metropolitan
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities

It seems that city may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because they just
want
Add the particle
want to

It appears that the verb be should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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be a friend if
the
Remove the article
apply

It is unlikely that your sentence needs the article the before their. Consider deleting the article.

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their fellow
resident
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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rich
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
The
Correct your spelling
They

The word The doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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do not interact with their local
resident
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

because of different social
status
Fix the agreement mistake
statuses

It seems that status may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Two main
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions

The singular noun solution follows a number other than one. Consider changing the noun to the plural form.

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are
tackle
Fix the infinitive
to tackle

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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those problem
Change the determiner
that problem
those problems

It appears that the plural demonstrative those is modifying the singular noun problem. Consider using a singular demonstrative or a plural noun instead.

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. The first one is the ministry must make
many
Replace the quantifier
much

It appears that the quantifier many does not fit with the uncountable noun organization. Consider changing it.

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social
organization
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for the society especially if their
life
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
modern
Add an article
the modern
a modern

The noun phrase modern city seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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city
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they can join the event if the
organization
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

make the social event.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is
effectively
Change the word
effective

Effectively seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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to make
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

interact with their local
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
resident
Fix the agreement mistake
residents

It seems that resident may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. The second factor, linked to the
first,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

is
making
Correct article usage
the making

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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of lottery
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs

It seems that club may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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which is
trending
Correct article usage
a trending

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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activity in the metropolitan
city
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they are busy
for
Change preposition
apply

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working and studying,
the
Correct article usage
apply

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have time
gather
Fix the infinitive
to gather

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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together where
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Add a missing verb
is.

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

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Consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it is the best way to overcome declined
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not
know
Wrong verb form
knowing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb know. Consider changing it.

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their nearby
dweller
Fix the agreement mistake
dwellers

It seems that dweller may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
To sum up
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some cause
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

not
know
Fix the infinitive
to know

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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each other in big
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities

It seems that city may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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because they have following lifestyle and most
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
Verb problem
are

There may be a verb use issue here.

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busy
for
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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daily
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities

It seems that activity may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Linking Words
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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to solve the address, the authority make many social
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations

It seems that organization may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

making
Wrong verb form
make

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb making. Consider changing it.

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lottery
club
Fix the agreement mistake
clubs

It seems that club may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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where they
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Replace the word
live

The word life doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that
Correct pronoun usage
which

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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is essential
to
Change preposition
for to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

gather together.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
The essay does address the question and identifies two main causes and solutions. However, it needs more clarity and structure to improve readability.
task achievement
To make your argument more convincing, you can add more specific examples or case studies that illustrate how social organizations or lottery clubs have successfully brought communities together.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure needs improvement; the transitions between ideas are abrupt. Use connectives such as 'Furthermore,' 'Moreover,' or 'On the other hand,' to make your ideas flow more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present but could be more engaging and cohesive. Try to clearly outline what you will be discussing in the introduction and summarize your main points effectively in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Each main point should be thoroughly supported with details and explanations. Be sure to elaborate on how exactly these solutions can be implemented and their potential impacts.
task achievement
The essay identifies two clear solutions—social organizations and lottery clubs—to address the issue of declining community interaction.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are present, which helps to frame the essay and sum up the points discussed.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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