Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved

#overpopulation #centres #world #be

Overpopulation has become a big

problem

in many urban areas. There are a

lot

causes

that lead up to

this

problem

This

essay will discuss both the

causes

and solutions of the following statement. There are a

lot

causes

that lead to overpopulation

such

as an increase in the birth rate, poverty, and so much more. One of the main

causes

is that a

lot

of cultures say that having a

lot

of children can give us good fortune.

This

is a very old-fashioned mindset that needs to be changed because of the increasing

population

In addition

, low-sex

education

for teens can

also

be one of the main reasons for overpopulation. Teens who have low-sex

education

are most likely to experience teen pregnancy. Because of

this

, the

population

in urban areas will constantly increase. There are many solutions to

this

. One of them is having a limit for citizens to have children.

However

this

is not a very effective solution since countries like China, which have applied

this

policy, ended up having a declining

population

Nevertheless

this

solution worked for many years in China since it lowered the

population

there. I think the best solution is to provide a standardized sex

education

in school.

This

can help avoid a

lot

of teen pregnancy since they would know the effects it

causes

. To sum it up, I think that there are many solutions to solve

this

ongoing

problem

. Things

such

as having a higher quality sex

education

and a birth policy can help solve

this

problem

Submitted by nafisa.sputri on Sat Aug 17 2024

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task achievement

It's important to elaborate more on the main causes and solutions provided. For instance, mention how poverty contributes to overpopulation and provide more details on how better sex education can curb teen pregnancy.

coherence cohesion

Work on making your argument flow more logically by clearly linking your points. You can achieve this by using transition words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' and 'Therefore.'

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good sense of the essay's structure.

task achievement

You have made a good attempt at addressing the main causes and potential solutions for overpopulation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved

Include an introduction and conclusion

The violence portrayed on T.V and in the movies leads to an increase in crime in our society. People who watch violent movies are more likely to become criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

“In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?