Overpopulation in many major urban centres around the world is a major problem. What are the causes of this? How can this be solved

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Overpopulation has become a big
problem
in many urban areas. There are a
lot
of
causes
that lead up to
this
problem
.
This
essay will discuss both the
causes
and solutions of the following statement. There are a
lot
of
causes
that lead to overpopulation
such
as an increase in the birth rate, poverty, and so much more. One of the main
causes
is that a
lot
of cultures say that having a
lot
of children can give us good fortune.
This
is a very old-fashioned mindset that needs to be changed because of the increasing
population
.
In addition
, low-sex
education
for teens can
also
be one of the main reasons for overpopulation. Teens who have low-sex
education
are most likely to experience teen pregnancy. Because of
this
, the
population
in urban areas will constantly increase. There are many solutions to
this
. One of them is having a limit for citizens to have children.
However
,
this
is not a very effective solution since countries like China, which have applied
this
policy, ended up having a declining
population
.
Nevertheless
,
this
solution worked for many years in China since it lowered the
population
there. I think the best solution is to provide a standardized sex
education
in school.
This
can help avoid a
lot
of teen pregnancy since they would know the effects it
causes
. To sum it up, I think that there are many solutions to solve
this
ongoing
problem
. Things
such
as having a higher quality sex
education
and a birth policy can help solve
this
problem
.
Submitted by nafisa.sputri on

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task achievement
It's important to elaborate more on the main causes and solutions provided. For instance, mention how poverty contributes to overpopulation and provide more details on how better sex education can curb teen pregnancy.
coherence cohesion
Work on making your argument flow more logically by clearly linking your points. You can achieve this by using transition words and phrases such as 'Firstly,' 'Moreover,' 'In contrast,' and 'Therefore.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a good sense of the essay's structure.
task achievement
You have made a good attempt at addressing the main causes and potential solutions for overpopulation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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