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Band 6.5

in some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of givin children this message?

#cultures #children #message
Nations believe that if they want to be successful in some areas or professions they should be keen on the topic and spend great effort on that. For that reason, they impose hard
work
 on their
children
 as much as they learn from their parents. İt is obvious that
this
 handover tradition comes with drawbacks more than the edges. Pros of being diligent pave the way for effective learning to catch up with deadlines, improve the ability to
work
 under stress and remain dedicated to the main goal. These features are good for the well-being and development of
children
.
Also
, it supports shaping their future characteristics as a mature personality. The cons of teaching hard
work
 to
children
 at an early age can pave the way for a monotonous lifestyle. Doing the same activities every day may bore
children
 and create repeated sets of routines.
Therefore
, they fail to think out of the box to gain effective and instant consequences. From my point of view, just hard
work
 leads to non-smart and visionless
work
. Spending a lot of power on something without innovative ideas takes more time than planned.
Thus
children
 can be exhausted
an
Change preposition
at an
show examples
 early age
they
Correct word choice
if they
show examples
 have unprofitable achievements. In conclusion,
while
 instilling a strong
work
 ethic in
children
 has its benefits,
such
 as developing resilience and discipline, it can
also
 limit creativity and lead to burnout if not balanced with opportunities for innovation and rest. A well-rounded approach that encourages both hard
work
 and critical thinking is essential for fostering not only success but
also
 long-term personal growth and fulfilment in
children
’s future.
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examples
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coherence
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structure
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relevance
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conclusion
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
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