IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that social networking site have a huge negative impact on both individual and society to what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many believe that social networking sites exert a significant detrimental influence on both individuals and society as a whole. I personally disagree with that notion
due to
Linking Words
 several reasons. The social media serves as the most expeditious means of disseminating
information
Use synonyms
 from any location.
Due to
Linking Words
 the rapid transmission of
information
Use synonyms
, the impact of communication will be more extensive and quicker to obtain.
For instance
Linking Words
, in the event of a natural calamity
such
Linking Words
 as an earthquake, the swifter the dissemination of
information
Use synonyms
, the quicker the arrival of assistance, and the broader the dissemination, the greater the amount of aid that will be provided.
In addition
Linking Words
, social media is the easiest way to keep in touch with family and
friends
Use synonyms
 around the world rather than using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other
medium
Fix the agreement mistake
mediums
show examples
 of communication.
As a result
Linking Words
 of easily
connect
Wrong verb form
connecting
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 with family and
friends
Use synonyms
, the relationship remains closer and
care
Correct subject-verb agreement
cares
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 for each other. By way of
example
Add a comma
example,
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 I have an
experienced
Replace the word
experience
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 to travel some regions for the first time. Indeed, I have family and
friends
Use synonyms
 who
close
Add a missing verb
are close
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 enough
live
Fix the infinitive
to live
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 there. I feel more comfortable and safe
travel
Replace the word
travelling
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 with them rather than
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 have to travel alone. In summary,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social networking sites
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 been a positive influence by facilitating the rapid and extensive dissemination of
information
Use synonyms
 and keeping in touch with family and
friends
Use synonyms
 all over the world. The social media's impact on society has been predominantly beneficial rather than detrimental for the following reasons

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task response
Your essay addresses the task effectively, although there is room for clearer and more in-depth examples. Try to provide more specific illustrations to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical structure of your arguments. Ensure that each main point is clearly delineated and smoothly transitions from one to the next.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which frames your argument well.
task response
You managed to convey clear and comprehensive ideas, maintaining relevance throughout your essay.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Social networking sites
  • Negative impact
  • Isolation
  • Face-to-face interactions
  • Mental health issues
  • Privacy breaches
  • Identity theft
  • Cyberbullying
  • Misinformation
  • Addiction
  • Productivity
  • Professional networking
  • Global connections
  • Social change
  • Awareness
  • Environmental campaigns
  • Traditional media
  • Marketing opportunities
  • Personal brands
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