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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
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The
hours
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 that
workers
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 spend on their jobs have been always a topic of debate. In my opinion, employees should spend fewer
hours
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 working and have more extended weekends. It is my view that allocating fewer
hours
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 on the
job
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 can be beneficial for both
workers
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 and employers. Less working
time
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 can lead to more efficient
workers
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.
Job
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 holders who have more
time
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 to spend with their family and friends are happier and less stressed. Spending more
time
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 on personal life
such
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 as leisure, family and socializing helps them to have a better work-life balance and feel less pressure on
job
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 responsibilities.
As a result
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, they tend to be more focused on their
job
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 during working days which helps them not suffer from burnout as they have more
time
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 for relaxation and rest.
In contrast
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, some people claim that nowadays industries and businesses are in a competitive environment more than ever. They firmly insist that in order to be successful and strong in business, companies have to force their employees to work longer
hours
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.
However
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, I do not find
this
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 argument convincing as longer work days result in less motivated
workers
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. one of the main factors for a higher rate of motivation among
workers
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 is to have more weekends. Motivation plays a vital role in industry. A highly motivated worker can do his or her
job
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 faster and more efficiently. In conclusion, I completely agree with longer weekends and fewer working
hours
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 because it will improve their performance and help
workers
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 to be more motivated.
Submitted by keyhan.mp on

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task achievement
Aim to use more specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. For instance, if you want to emphasize stress reduction, mention real-life examples or studies.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical progression of your ideas. While your essay is generally coherent, there are points where the transition between ideas can be even more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, and your conclusion wraps up your essay neatly, summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which shows clear, comprehensive ideas and a balanced approach.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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