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Band 6.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend Do you agree or disagree?

#week #workers #weekend
The
hours
 that
workers
 spend on their jobs have been always a topic of debate. In my opinion, employees should spend fewer
hours
 working and have more extended weekends. It is my view that allocating fewer
hours
 on the
job
 can be beneficial for both
workers
 and employers. Less working
time
 can lead to more efficient
workers
.
Job
 holders who have more
time
 to spend with their family and friends are happier and less stressed. Spending more
time
 on personal life
such
 as leisure, family and socializing helps them to have a better work-life balance and feel less pressure on
job
 responsibilities.
As a result
, they tend to be more focused on their
job
 during working days which helps them not suffer from burnout as they have more
time
 for relaxation and rest.
In contrast
, some people claim that nowadays industries and businesses are in a competitive environment more than ever. They firmly insist that in order to be successful and strong in business, companies have to force their employees to work longer
hours
.
However
, I do not find
this
 argument convincing as longer work days result in less motivated
workers
. one of the main factors for a higher rate of motivation among
workers
 is to have more weekends. Motivation plays a vital role in industry. A highly motivated worker can do his or her
job
 faster and more efficiently. In conclusion, I completely agree with longer weekends and fewer working
hours
 because it will improve their performance and help
workers
 to be more motivated.
Submitted by keyhan.mp on

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task achievement
Aim to use more specific examples to clearly illustrate your points. For instance, if you want to emphasize stress reduction, mention real-life examples or studies.
coherence cohesion
Work on the logical progression of your ideas. While your essay is generally coherent, there are points where the transition between ideas can be even more seamless.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively sets the stage for your argument, and your conclusion wraps up your essay neatly, summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
You address both sides of the argument, which shows clear, comprehensive ideas and a balanced approach.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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