People's live are now surrounded by advertisement. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Incurrent generation
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
surrounded us in our everyday
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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. Many
people
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believe it
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
a significant improvement in an individual’s lifestyle.
While
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others argue that it has a negative
impact
Use synonyms
over
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
lives. I partly agree with both statements. And to explain
this
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further
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,
this
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essay will discuss both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
and try to explain using suitable examples to provide a better explanation for both perspectives. On the one hand, in cities back in the 1900s, the advertisements began with spreading
information
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either about some news or products as it was the era of inventions, and it
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
became a part of our daily lives. These advertisements provided updated
information
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about the advancement in
technologies
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technology
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.
On the other hand
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,
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
it the rural regions, Where the
advertisement
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and marketing
not
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were not
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a strong suit,
people
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felt backwards and huge difference in opinion when
travelled
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
to the cities and restricted growth
due to
Linking Words
lack of
information
Use synonyms
and knowledge.
This
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shows the direct
impact
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of
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
on our daily lives.
However
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,
critics
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critics'
critic's
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argument
Fix the agreement mistake
arguments
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passed in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
generation
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
based on false and limited
information
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used on a daily basis to influence one’s opinion. To put things into perspective,
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
can create a bubble
to
Change preposition
of
show examples
false
information
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which
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
sales and
benefit
Correct subject-verb agreement
benefits
show examples
big companies but harms
people
Use synonyms
in the long run
can
Correct word choice
and can
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also
Linking Words
cause financial strain.
For instance
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, in 1978 a detergent company launched an
advertisement
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campaign that was
made
Verb problem
apply
show examples
based on false
information
Use synonyms
which resulted in
boost
Add an article
a boost
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in sales but caused skin irritation after using
for
Correct pronoun usage
it for
show examples
long periods of time.
Furthermore
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, these advertisements are often led by huge discounts and cashback offers.
This
Linking Words
states some of the negative
influence
Fix the agreement mistake
influences
show examples
of
advertisement
Use synonyms
in society. In conclusion,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Use synonyms
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
are important for society as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
provide
information
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
advancement
Correct article usage
the advancement
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
products.
However
Linking Words
, it
also
Linking Words
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
some negative
Use synonyms
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
on society and
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
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this
Linking Words
impact
Use synonyms
government can make new strict policies and laws that would enable individuals to make better decisions based on true and full
information
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around
Change preposition
about
show examples
the products.
Submitted by nick on

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task achievement
Ensure that your argument is clear and consistent throughout the essay. It is important to clearly state your position in the introduction and maintain this position throughout your body paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to your sentence structures and grammar. There are some errors that make your writing less clear. For example, 'it become became' should be 'it became.'
coherence cohesion
Use connectors and cohesive devices more effectively to improve the flow of your essay. For example, instead of 'On the one hand' use 'Firstly' and follow a similar pattern in subsequent paragraphs.
task achievement
The introduction clearly outlines the scope of the essay and introduces the main idea.
task achievement
The essay includes specific examples to support the arguments, which adds depth to the discussion.
coherence cohesion
You have concluded the essay effectively, summarizing your main points and suggesting a possible solution.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer culture
  • materialism
  • financial strain
  • decreased satisfaction
  • harmful stereotypes
  • unrealistic standards
  • self-esteem
  • body image
  • manipulate
  • buying decisions
  • purchase
  • waste
  • overconsumption
  • enhance
  • quality of life
  • economic growth
  • encouraging spending
  • supports businesses
  • creates jobs
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