The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
It is argued that
workers
should not work
too long and ought to get more rest time
. Personally, I partially agree with the statement. Although
it is reasonable, I believe we should take different factors into account, and reasons will be provided in this
essay.
It is undeniable that more weekends help workers
achieve a better work
-life balance, reduce work
stress as well as
strengthen family bonding. That is
to say, increasing weekend time
allows workers
to spend more time
with their families and strengthen family ties. Therefore
, people can separate their lives from their work
clearly and work
in a more efficient way because they would no longer be distracted by their family members. What's more, working continuously for a long time
can easily lead to physical and mental exhaustion and increase health risk
. Shortening the working days and giving more free Fix the agreement mistake
risks
time
to people is good for them to maintain healthy
. All of these contribute to Replace the word
health
improve
worker's life quality and Change the verb form
improving
work
efficiency.
On the other hand
, decreasing the working days of some
certain industries is bad for the development of Correct quantifier usage
apply
the
society in terms of economic downturn and public interest. With regard to the former, as the Correct article usage
apply
workers
are working in
a shorter working Change preposition
apply
hour
, the cost of Fix the agreement mistake
hours
labor
would probably increase and Change the spelling
labour
the
productivity would decrease. In Correct article usage
apply
this
way, the economy will also
decrease significantly. Moreover
, if the working days of some industries like healthcare and emergency services decrease, this
may not meet the needs of society and do harm to the public interest.
In my opinion, most of
Change preposition
apply
the
industries can improve their staff's life quality and Correct article usage
apply
working
enthusiasm by giving them a longer weekend, Replace the word
work
while
there are several special kinds of jobs that are necessary to
the public and cannot be given more free Change preposition
for
time
.
In conclusion, I partially agree with the statement of
Change preposition
that
workers
should work
for a shorter time
because that depend
on many factors. I believe that companies should consider more before making a decision and find the balance between Change the verb form
depends
work
and relax
.Replace the word
relaxation
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task achievement
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coherence cohesion
While your essay generally flows well, there are occasional lapses in clarity and coherence. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and use more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively frame your argument. This helps set the stage for your points and wraps up your essay well.
complete response
You have done a good job of addressing both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view which enhances the completeness of your response.
logical structure
Your essay is generally coherent and logically structured, which aids in reader comprehension. Each body paragraph addresses a distinct aspect of your argument.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example