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Band 5

Some people think that one of the best ways to solve environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
SEVERAL GROUPS OF INDIVIDUALS SUGGEST THAT TO COPE WITH PUBLIC CHALLENGES RISING THE
COST
 OF FUEL FOR VEHICLES IS THE BEST
WAY
 . THOUGH OTHERS AGREE IT IS THE BEST
WAY
, I DISAGREE WITH
THIS
 STATEMENT SINCE IT IS LIKELY TO CAUSE PROTESTS
OF
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FROM
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 RESIDENTS AND
THIS
WAY
 MIGHT NOT
HAVE
Unnecessary verb
apply
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RESULT
Wrong verb form
RESULTED
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ON
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IN
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 PRIMARY IMPEDIMENTS AS IT DOES NOT RELATE TO IT.
THIS
WAY
 OF SOLVING ENVIRONMENTAL TROUBLES CAN CAUSE PROTESTS AMONG DWELLERS. VEHICLES, NAMELY
CAR
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CARS
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 OR
BUS
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BUSES
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IS
Verb problem
apply
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DAY-TO-DAY USED
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IN AUTOMOBYLES
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AUTOMOBYLES
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AUTOMOBILES
 AS INDIVIDUALS USE THEM TO GET
THEIR
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TO THEIR
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 DESTINATIONS,
SUCH
 AS WORK AND SCHOOL. BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE NEED CONSIDERABLE TIME TO GET
THEIR
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TO THEIR
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 INTENDED PLACES
DUE TO
 RESIDING
FURTHER
,
AS A
RESULT
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RESULT,
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 IT MAY CAUSE THE FEELING OF
ANGRY
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ANGER
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 AMONG
THOSE
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apply
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HUMANKIND. A RALLY
WHICH WAS
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THAT
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 HAPPENED IN KAZAKHSTAN TWO YEARS AGO MAY
ASSIST
Verb problem
SERVE
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 AS A PRIME EXAMPLE.
GOVERNMENT
Correct article usage
THE GOVERNMENT
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 DECIDED TO INCREASE THE
COST
 OF FUEL TO ALLOCATE
OBTAINED
Verb problem
apply
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EXCESSIVE MONEY
ON
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TO
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 SOLVE NEEDED ISSUES, RESULTING
PROTESTS
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IN PROTESTS
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 IN
ENTIRE
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THE ENTIRE
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 DISTRICT OF
COUNTRY
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THE COUNTRY
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 THAT LED
VIA
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TO
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 VERSA MANY TROUBLES. REASONS
OF
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FOR
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 COMMON PROBLEMS MAY NOT SO FAR RELATE TO VEHICLES AT ALL. TO SCRUTINIZE MORE ABOUT THE REASONS OF MANY ENVIRONMENTAL ISSUES MOST OF THEM DO NOT HAVE BONDS WITH THE
WAY
 OF UPLIFTING THE
COST
 OF AUTOMOBILES.
FURTHERMORE
, SOME OF
SUCH
 TROUBLES ARE IN NEED OF OTHER
DESICIONS
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DECISIONS
. TO TAKE AN EXAMPLE OF DISTINGUISHED IMPEDIMENT, NAMELY
A
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apply
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DOMESTIC VIOLENCE .
THIS
 TYPE OF PROBLEM DOES NOT HAVE ANY CONNECTION WITH THE BELOW MENTIONED
DESICION
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DECISION
 AS IT REQUIRES OTHER
KIND
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KINDS
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 OF
SOLLUTION
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SOLUTION
 LIKE PROHIBITING THE PERSON
TO DO
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FROM DOING
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 PARTICULAR TYPE OF ACTIONS WHO MADE THE VIOLENCE.
TO CONCLUDE
, I DO NOT COMPLETELY SUPPORT THE IDEA OF RISING THE
COST
 OF FUEL. BECAUSE IT IS LIKELY TO LEAD
MORE
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TO MORE
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 ISSUES AND IT IS NOT SO FAR
APPROPIATE
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APPROPRIATE
 SOLUTION TO DEAL WITH PROBLEMS OF
ENVIRONMENT
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THE ENVIRONMENT
show examples
.
Submitted by akbopeadilbek on

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task achievement
Your ideas are clear, and you have responded to the task prompt effectively. However, work on providing more comprehensive ideas and detailed explanations to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Your essay should have a more defined and clearer introduction and conclusion. The ideas are generally well organized, but transitions between paragraphs could be smoother.
task achievement
Make sure that your main points are fully supported with relevant and specific examples. Sometimes, your examples could be more directly linked to the points you are making.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt and provides a clear opinion, which shows an understanding of the task.
coherence cohesion
You successfully present two main reasons for disagreeing with the prompt, giving a logical structure to your essay.
task achievement
Your use of specific examples, such as the protests in Kazakhstan, helps to illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental sustainability
  • renewable energy
  • fossil fuels
  • public transportation
  • carbon footprint
  • economic incentives
  • alternative energy vehicles
  • fuel-efficient
  • government subsidies
  • economic disparity
  • urban planning
  • rural infrastructure
  • sustainable development
  • carbon tax
  • green technology
  • demand elasticity
  • energy conservation
  • climate change mitigation
What to do next:
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