Some people feel that playing computer games has a negative impact on children's health and social skills. Other say it can have a positive impact on their lives. Discuss both these views.
Nowadays, some believe that video
games
are noxious for children and for their mentality, whereas
others take the opinion that this
kind of action can have a beneficial impact on their future lives. In this
essay, I shall explain why playing electronic games
can affect negatively and also
favourably.
On the one hand, it is true that spending plenty of time
by
sitting and playing computer Change preposition
apply
games
has negative effects on people's health such
as impaired vision and brain activity. It is all due to
the fact that while
young people sit incorrectly in front of a monitor or flat screen and clog their brains with unnecessary information, they will experience inconvenience which means they act negatively. Moreover
, if individuals waste their time
by investigating online worlds, they will not have the opportunity to make memories and great feelings with their loved persons such
as hanging out, just walking, dining together and so on; consequently
, they would ruin their social lives, putting their real life in the second place.
On the other hand
, there are a large amount
of famous individuals, who gained fame by just committing to Change the quantifier
number
the
computer Correct article usage
apply
games
. Additionally
, nowadays, most of them earn a tremendous sum of money, which is due to
their famous and good abilities in participating in various online competitions.
For instance
, everyone probably knows about a video game called CS-GO, in which players shoot each other by splitting into teams, moreover
, this
community has the ability to make a lot of competitions in where
gamers can easily win plenty amount of money. Correct word choice
which
Nevertheless
, children who play online activities every day should realise that they need to care about their health and social status, consequently
, they have to create normal schedules and
regularly take healthy facilities and Correct word choice
apply
also
keep their touch with friends and family.
In conclusion, although
it is clear that
spending a lot of time
playing online games
for children could has
some drawbacks, they have to understand that if they care about themselves and regularly Change the verb form
have
also
spend time
with loved people, they will be able to improve their lives.Submitted by talgattan4ez on
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task achievement
Ensure clear articulation of ideas, avoiding generalizations. For instance, give specific health consequences of excessive gaming.
coherence cohesion
Consider balancing paragraphs by providing similar depth and length for both views discussed.
coherence cohesion
Check for grammar and vocabulary precision for clearer communication of complex ideas.
task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up both perspectives, offering a balanced view of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Good use of transition words and phrases to connect ideas logically throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay concludes by bringing together the main points discussed, offering a summarizing thought.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.