IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Describe an unforgettable moment of success or achievement in your life, whether it was academic, personal, or professional. Explain the circumstances leading up to it and the emotions you experienced as a result.

#moment #success #achievement #life #circumstances #emotions
I have
many
Add a missing verb
had many
show examples
 unforgettable moments of success,but
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
one
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
acafemic
Correct your spelling
academic
 achievement is memorable. First,During my higher studies,I was very nervous about my chemistry paper.I
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
 understand organic chemistry.I struggled to
undertsand
Correct your spelling
understand
 the
bascis
Correct your spelling
basics
basis
,But I was determined to hit the ground running,
However
,I joined extra chemistry classes. To be honest I really work hard.
Secondly
,
At
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the result day, I was very nervous
although
my
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
I
perform
Wrong verb form
performed
show examples
 very
good
Change the word
well
show examples
 on paper.
Mostly
Correct your spelling
Most
show examples
 of my friends got
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 marks but Successfully I got the highest marks and
this
this
 the movement which makes me and my professors
also
 my parents proud.
Submitted by shahroz99dev on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Try to provide a clear introduction that sets the scene for your story. This can help your readers understand the context better.
cohesion
Ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly into each other, using transition words and phrases where necessary.
coherence
Work on sentence structure and grammar. While small inaccuracies won't drastically impact your score, clearer sentences will improve readability.
task response
Expand on your emotions and the impact of this achievement on your future. This can make your story more engaging and comprehensive.
task response
Consider running a spell check or proofreading your essay to catch any minor errors.
task response
The essay provides a clear narrative of your hard work and eventual success, which is engaging.
task response
Specific details about your struggle with organic chemistry and the extra classes you took add depth to your story.
task response
The emotions you felt on the result day are clearly conveyed, making your achievement relatable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: