IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You would like to reduce your working hours in order to study part-time. Write a letter to your boss. In your letter • explain why you want to reduce your working hours • say which hours you would like to work • describe how your part-time studies would benefit your employer Begin your letter as follows: Dear _______________

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Dear Smith, I hope you are doing well. I am writing to discuss my working
hours
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 as a manager at
Illumin
Correct your spelling
Illumina
.
Instead
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 of the current 44
hours
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 per week, I would like to reduce my
hours
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 to 30 per week. The main reason for
this
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 request is that I have been accepted into a Web Development course at Conestoga College that lasts for three months. Balancing part-time studies with full-time work will be challenging, so I am hoping you can accommodate my request to decrease my working
hours
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. My classes are scheduled from Monday to Wednesday, from 8 AM to 2 PM, which means I will be available for the rest of the week. If possible, I would like to shift my working days to Friday through Sunday, working from 8 AM to 9 PM. I believe
this
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 course will not only enhance my skills but
also
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 benefit our organization. By learning how to create websites, I will be able to develop one for our company upon completion of the course. Thank you for considering my request. Yours faithfully, Shweta.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider using more linking words and phrases to ensure a smooth flow between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide a bit more detail on how exactly your new skills will benefit the company.
task achievement
The letter effectively communicates the main points, including the reason for reducing hours, proposed work schedule, and benefits to the employer.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the letter is clear, with a logical flow from introduction to conclusion.
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