Many people believe that social network websites such as Facebook and Instagram, have had a huge negative impact on both individual and Society. To what extent do you agree?
Undoubtedly, social
media
has become an integral part of everyone's life in today's world. Some people
believe that social data websites
put
an immense amount of negative Verb problem
have
affect
on both society and Correct your spelling
effects
individuals
. This
essay will discuss my opinions in the
favour of the above-mentioned statement in the upcoming paragraphs.
Correct article usage
apply
To begin
with, not only Facebook and Instagram
websites
are decreasing the
face-to-face interactions but Correct article usage
apply
also
put
Verb problem
have
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
impact
on social bonding amongst
Change preposition
among
individuals
. Due to
this
, people
do not prefer to meet in person on
special events Change preposition
at
such
as festivals and folks wish each other by sending reels on instagram
. Even thoughChange the capitalization
Instagram
,
Remove the comma
apply
people
do not want to type the full messages for their loved one's
Change noun form
ones
and
they prefer to send emojis. Correct word choice
apply
Moreover
, lack of privacy is an important factor, which is under
risk Change preposition
at
while
spending time on social media
because people
post everything on social apps. Although
, there are some private settings options on instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
but
still anyone can access Remove the conjunction
apply
to
a person's account and misuse their information.
Another factor to consider is that social network Change preposition
apply
websites
put
Verb problem
have
negative
Add an article
a negative
the negative
impact
on individual's
mental health because Correct article usage
an individual's
people
do not prefer outdoor activities and they spend their most of time on instagram
or Facebook. Not only Change the capitalization
Instagram
individuals
are facing problems relate
to stress and anxiety but Change the form of the verb
related
also
Correct pronoun usage
they also
websites put
Verb problem
have
awful
Add an article
an awful
the awful
impact
on folks
eyesight. Change noun form
folks'
folk's
For example
, according to
the Canadian (2022) survey said that 80% of society has a stress problems
because they watch violence on social Correct the article-noun agreement
a stress problem
stress problems
media
as well
as
almost 70% of Correct word choice
and
schools
students wear glasses because they spend an immense amount of time on phones which affects their eyesight.
Change the noun form
school
To conclude
, individuals
can not deny that
how easy their Correct word choice
apply
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
has
become Correct subject-verb agreement
have
due to
social media
but there are multifarious negative impacts of using a lot of social websites
such
as impact
on communication ways, mental health, privacy
. Correct word choice
and privacy
Also
, people
have to consider these impacts seriously for a fruitful life.Submitted by kulvir1910 on
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task achievement
Ensure all examples used are clearly relevant to the main points. For instance, the Canadian survey example could be more precise or elaborated to strengthen the argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to make paragraphs more distinct with clear topic sentences that preview the main idea of each paragraph. This can help to enhance clarity and cohesion.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction provides a clear overview of the topic and introduces the main argument of the essay effectively.
logical structure
The essay has a distinct and logical structure, with the argument developed coherently across paragraphs.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.