Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices would help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the modern days,
people
used to drive their vehicles to offices and to the shopping centres. Many
people
argue that spending money to upgrade public
transport
and reduce ticket prices will reduce air pollution. I believe, investing in public
transport
and the cheap price of tickets never reduces the surrounding atmosphere until provide facilities in their local
areas
.
This
essay will discuss why I do not agree with the above statement. Certainly, cheap tickets and more public
transport
networks will attract many commuters to
use
facilities but there are many drawbacks to bringing these facilities. The main important outcome is the payers' money, in some
areas
only some
people
commute to workplaces and live far from the cities and it will be very difficult for the Authorities to build a
transport
system for them to travel to urban
areas
,
instead
allowing them to
use
their private vehicles. Another reason is that waste of
time
, in many
areas
,
people
do not have
time
to wait for a long
time
at the platforms and catch public
transport
with the cheap fare because
people
are busy
due to
workloads and tired after work.
Secondly
, the
use
of private cars is more convenient than public
transport
, if a person travels with his family and they can visit many places in the motor car
instead
wait for public
transport
and they can utilise their spare
time
for other tasks.
For example
, if a family wants to go shopping and buy multiple things from the different shops, so private car will be safe and convenient for them. Another factor is
people
can
use
private motors any
time
when they require, sometimes in emergency
people
need to rush to the hospital, sometimes there are no public services available at odd hours. In conclusion, following the analysis of both sides,
it is clear that
public
transport
and the discounted price of tickets are always better for saving money.
However
, in emergencies and odd working hours, public
transport
cannot benefit society, so they
use
their own
transport
system.
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task response
Begin with a clear, concise thesis statement to set the direction of your essay. The current introduction is somewhat unclear about your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main point supported by relevant details. Some paragraphs in your essay contain multiple ideas that can be confusing.
task response
Strengthen your arguments with more specific and varied examples. The provided examples are somewhat general and could be more compelling.
coherence and cohesion
Maintain a consistent view throughout the essay. Occasionally, the essay seems to shift focus, which slightly impacts its coherence.
task response
Your introduction sets the premise well and provides a context for discussion.
task response
The essay presents both sides of the argument effectively, showing a balanced approach.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainable transport
  • carbon footprint
  • mass transit
  • subsidization
  • fare reduction
  • environmental impact
  • urban planning
  • public policy
  • commuter behavior
  • infrastructural development
  • economic efficiency
  • equitable access
  • lifestyle shift
  • congestion
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