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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The pie charts below show how general household costs were broken down in a certain city in both 2017 and 2018.

The pie charts below show how general household costs were broken down in a certain city in both 2017 and 2018.
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The pie charts show how general
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 were broken down in a certain city in
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018. In
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018,
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 of rent or house purchasing were the most spent, of all
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
, at 32% and 25 % respectively.
However
Linking Words
, the
household
Use synonyms
 cost spent on entertainment is the least of all
household
Use synonyms
 expenditures, being 10% and 15% respectively. Looking at the graphs in more detail, in 2017, people spent 18% of their
household
Use synonyms
 budgets on
both
Use synonyms
 grocery
costs
Use synonyms
 and
household
Use synonyms
 bills.
Additionally
Linking Words
, they spent 22 % on schooling.
Whereas
Linking Words
, in 2018, families spent considerably more on grocery
costs
Use synonyms
, 24 % and they
also
Linking Words
 spent less on
both
Use synonyms
household
Use synonyms
 bills and schooling, just 18%.
Finally
Linking Words
,
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 on groceries and entertainment in 2018, are around 5 % more than in 2017.Compared to
this
Linking Words
,
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 of schooling and rent or house purchasing in 2017 are around 5% less than that of 2018.
In addition
Linking Words
,
household
Use synonyms
costs
Use synonyms
 of
household
Use synonyms
 bills stayed the same in
both
Use synonyms
 2017 and 2018.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 92%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words household, costs, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "show" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure
  • distribution
  • household costs
  • proportion
  • category
  • notable
  • increase
  • decrease
  • consistent
  • stable
  • socioeconomic factors
  • inflation
  • household income
  • spending patterns
  • shifts
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