Some people prefer to travel in their own country when they have some time off. Others think that it is better to take a trip to a foreign country. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons to support your choice.
It is debated that some individuals choose to visit international countries to spend their holidays.
However
, others are opposed to such
an idea which
Correct word choice
and
thinks
the motherland is the better Correct subject-verb agreement
think
options
. I would rather explore Fix the agreement mistake
option
on
other nations which I will explain the reason in detail in the following paragraph.
Change preposition
apply
To begin
with, cost
of Correct article usage
the cost
travel
whether in
Change preposition
apply
the
domestic or Correct article usage
apply
internationals
were the same. Correct your spelling
international
For instance
, many travel
agencies encourage people to travel
in terms of profits these days, promoting and giving discounts to those who have memberships. As a result
, people would pick foreign states as a trip owing to the similar fare.
In addition
, travelling abroad offers unique experiences. For example
, when travelers
stay abroad, they need to be independent and brave in order to explore Change the spelling
travellers
such
challenging environment
namely the weather, language barrier and food Fix the agreement mistake
environments
optional
, especially for those who are Replace the word
options
muslim
. Change the capitalization
Muslim
In contrast
, if a person takes a journey at
native soil, they will Change preposition
on
unable
to gain Add a missing verb
be unable
same
experiences as that. Correct article usage
the same
Consequently
, this
will affect a person's perspective to travel
international
to expand their adventures.
Change the adjective
internationally
Furthermore
, no one can deny that when they travels
other than their Change the verb form
travel
birthplaces
, they can learn about their heritage and culture. Parents often take their kids overseas to explore. Fix the agreement mistake
birthplace
This
healthy activity ensures children to
gain a deeper appreciation of the cultures and histories of Fix the infinitive
apply
neighbour
Add an article
the neighbour
country
. By the same token, Fix the agreement mistake
countries
this
fosters intercultural exchange and understanding, reducing misunderstanding and prejudices.
In conclusion, I believe that an international
Remove the article
international travel
an international journey
an international trip
travel
brings various beneficial
to them, considering the fair price, gaining experiences and Replace the word
benefits
knowledges
. Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
Therefore
, I think people should broaden their perspectives as it could be useful in the long run.Submitted by tifjong on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and provides a clear preference for international travel with reasonable arguments. However, you need to ensure that your examples and support for your points are specific and clearly linked to your main ideas.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure. The ideas presented are relevant but sometimes feel disconnected. Use more linking phrases and transitions to create a smoother flow between paragraphs and ideas.
coherence cohesion
Consider improving the coherence of your examples and the clarity of your ideas. Some sentences can be restructured for better understanding and to avoid confusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and provide a good framework for the essay.
task achievement
You addressed the task and provided relevant points for your preference.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.