IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some teachers say students should be organised into groups to study. Others argue students should be made to study alone. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#teachers #students #groups #study
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Some
teachers
 say that young
people
 must
study
 alone,
while
 others say that they must learn in a
group
. It can be good for children to improve public ability in
group
 studies, but I believe that it is important to give greater knowledge in single classes. On the one hand, in a
group
, children can learn how to communicate and not be shy around
people
. It is crucial to have skills like speaking in a
group
 of
people
 and having courage.
For example
, my friend Arman was a very shy person at the beginning of school, but with us and with help from
teachers
 he overcame his coyness to talk in front of all his classmates.
On the other hand
, it is substantial to have a place with no voice and shouts from around to have a clear mind to think clearly without hindrance. It is obvious that if a person has his own place to
study
 without obstacles, he will learn anything more quickly than a person who studies a crowd and has less time to ask his own questions.
For instance
, when I was in primary school, I had no time to
study
 normally around noisy
people
.
Finally
, when I went to tutor, I started to learn things easier and faster than when I was in class with my friends. In conclusion, some
teachers
 believe that students should
study
 in a
group
 because of improves their public skills, but I believe some other
teachers
 that it will be good for children to
study
 alone without interference from around.
Submitted by Kawasaki on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay follows a logical structure with clearly defined paragraphs. However, work on ensuring smoother transitions between the paragraphs to further enhance coherence.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and provided a clear opinion, which is excellent. To achieve higher marks, ensure your opinion is integrated more seamlessly throughout the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples which are helpful in supporting your arguments. Ensure that these examples are always clearly tied back to the main point to reinforce your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and effectively outline the essay’s main points and final opinion.
task achievement
You provided specific examples from personal experiences, which strengthen your arguments and make the essay more engaging.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clear and logically structured, making it easy for the reader to follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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